A Sad Week For Kill

Kill_em_All

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Jul 29, 2008
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As if the female specimen hasn't already provided me with enough reason to hate them, I now have two more; Driver #1 and Driver #2.

Driver #1 was texting on her cel phone on Wednesday while driving through a popular park near me. She was completely obvlivious to her surroundings, paying zero attention to other drivers nearby...specifically me. Why bother paying attention to the road when texting Jenna to tell her about "ur l8ist crab infecshun lol" is so much more important?!

Driver #1 decided to run a stop sign and make a right turn directly into my forward motion. Luckily for me, I was paying attention and swerved to avoid her fucking purple Pontiac. Unfortunately, my defensive action forced me to slam into a goddamned 8 inch high curb. The force of the impact completely bent my CV axle, lower control arm, rim, and blew my brand new Pirelli. Additionally, once the wheel cleared the curb the oil pan slammed into it, puncturing it and spewing oil everywhere.

Driver #1, in her dazed state of lethargy paid no attention to the fact that she forced me onto a fucking cliff face of a curb and drove off, leaving me to bear the burden of repair costs to my Cadillac (which dwarf the value of the vehicle altogether).

So I get the car towed home and have been driving my T/A since Wednesday. My Cadillac was my daily driver. I pretty much abuse the shit out of it, mechanically, because I've known that I go through about two daily drivers a year, and typically don't expect them to last long. But my T/A, I baby. I park this car in the garage for about 300 days of the year, and although it's an 11 year old car, it only has 36,000 miles on it. It's cherry, inside and out. It's only seen rain twice, and has never been exposed to snow/ice/road salt/etc, so it's killed me to take it out and use it as my daily. I planned on having this car til my oldest daughter is old enough to drive it.

This was the plan.............until today when I met Driver #2.

Driver #2 is a 54 year-old redneck, and former owner of a 1984 Ford Crown Victoria that looked like a fucking before picture from Pimp My Ride.

Driver #2 was riding my ass on the interstate during rush-hour traffic and while the rest of the traffic in front of her (including myself) decided to slow to an almost complete stop, Driver #2 just didn't want to conform.

In her attempt to fucking slalom down the interstate regardless of traffic conditions, Driver #2 rear-ended me going about 70 miles per hour and completely totaled my cherry T/A faster than you can say "you stupid bitch".

To make matters worse, Driver #2 didn't have any insurance. I mean, why would she? It's just a 2,000 pound, moving, steel object that carries more inertia than a motherfucking roller coaster. Why would she possibly care enough to insure the damned thing in the event that it, I don't know.........rear ended another fuckin motorist!

So now, on behalf of two shitty, women drivers in 3 days I'm left with two worthless vehicles, a fucking Chevy Cobalt rental, and a curious insurance company who finds it difficult to believe that I had two accidents in three days.

Look, bitches; I love you. That thing you have between your legs is what keeps me going. When you're in your place (the kitchen/under my desk), you are perhaps the greatest gift to mankind that the good lord has ever blessed us with. But that becomes null and void the minute you get behind the wheel.

Put down your phone, pay the fuck attention, and stay away from me on the interstate.
 

SittinGrumpy

Guest
Noramlly I would argue with where you think we as women should be...but fuck me sideways, I think you were too kind in your description of these women!!!!!

On behalf of my gender, I apologize!!!!

:yociexp75:
 

Kill_em_All

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Jul 29, 2008
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I have seriously FUCKED some cars up in my time. I've wrecked into a tree, two seperate concrete center dividers, and put a Humvee in a ditch in Croatia. None of those accidents were my fault. I drove through fucking live-fire combat zones, dodging mortar fire and have managed to not get into any at-fault accidents in the process.

Yet for some reason, if it has a goddamned uterus, it can't operate a motor vehicle and a cellular telephone at the same time without fuckin causing thousands of dollars in damage.
 
Jan 23, 2009
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stumbledonarock.ucoz.com
I have seriously FUCKED some cars up in my time. I've wrecked into a tree, two seperate concrete center dividers, and put a Humvee in a ditch in Croatia. None of those accidents were my fault. I drove through fucking live-fire combat zones, dodging mortar fire and have managed to not get into any at-fault accidents in the process.

Yet for some reason, if it has a goddamned uterus, it can't operate a motor vehicle and a cellular telephone at the same time without fuckin causing thousands of dollars in damage.
Uhhh yur wrong I drive a race car and gocart on the weekends and in the snow on 2 foot of ice and use my cell fone and have never had a wreck that i didn't cause on purpose to make first place and I teach the local teens how to drive on ice and the cops I have taught ice stunts and skids .You are just a magnet For disaster and foul attitudes drawl bad things.The Three fold law what goes around comes around my friend is true!
 

Kill_em_All

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Jul 29, 2008
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STFU.

Karma my ass. I've got enough in my savings account to buy two more of the same exact cars with enough left over to put you through college.

Just kidding..........I know you could never go to college.
 

Unhappy Camper

Hells yeah
Founder
Mar 10, 2008
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If I could distill Sharia law down to two or three bites I would gladly take it in order to keep all women
off any surface street with any vehicle over the size of a Vespa.

With very few exceptions women have no real capacity for making the kind of quick reaction and second by second
decisions needed to pilot a motor vehicle.
 

Absinthe

Moderator
Staff member
Founder
Mar 2, 2008
658
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If I could distill Sharia law down to two or three bites I would gladly take it in order to keep all women
off any surface street with any vehicle over the size of a Vespa.

With very few exceptions women have no real capacity for making the kind of quick reaction and second by second
decisions needed to pilot a motor vehicle.

Bla bla bla bla blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
 

Absinthe

Moderator
Staff member
Founder
Mar 2, 2008
658
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I am really sorry about what happened to you and your cars.

Oddly enough, every time another driver ran into my car... the driver was a guy. The first was a dude who failed to noticed three (!!!!) cars that had come to a complete stop in front of him because he had to pick up a piece of fried chicken off of the floor of his truck . Can we all spell Redneck?
The second was some kid on the way to school. I came to a stop at a stop sign and he stepped on the gas. Duuude, I was never in such a hurry to get to school....
 

SittinGrumpy

Guest
I really feel bad for Kill in this situation and I think the two women should have to pay 100% for all damages; however, I have been driving for 20 years, I have never had an accident that was my fault; I have never had so much as a speeding ticket.

In fact, the only accident I was in was when a man was traveling almost twice the posted speed approaching a stop sign that I was sitting at; he hit us going 45 miles per hour as I sat still.

Not all women or even most women are the horrible drivers that you speak of and you can prove that by the insurance rate different between the two.

I don't think anyone should text while driving, not just women.
 

Titty

Proud White Boy
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Mar 2, 2008
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Where the sun doesn't shine
Uhhh yur wrong I drive a race car and gocart on the weekends and in the snow on 2 foot of ice and use my cell fone and have never had a wreck that i didn't cause on purpose to make first place and I teach the local teens how to drive on ice and the cops I have taught ice stunts and skids .You are just a magnet For disaster and foul attitudes drawl bad things.
Bitch, you can barely navigate a web browser. Mastering the operation of a motorized vehicle isn't even an option for you.

And do you think for one nanosecond anyone believes your constant line of bullshit? You're a model. You're a millionaire. You're a race car driver. You're not a brutally-ugly, morbidly-obese, pig-fucking bar slut with two different colored eyes, one leg shorter than the other and a scorching case of herpes.

Go back to your two member web site where you belong. If you can figure out you to type in your own url without the aid of a child.

The Three fold law
Your knowledge of folds consists of counting the ones on your back in a full-length mirror. And I'm sure you would run out of digits before you could tally them all.

Kill_Em_All said:
completely totaled my cherry T/A
I feel your pain, my brotha. I've never been able to own a nice vehicle without some asshole (usually of the female persuasion) fucking it up in some manner.

My prized possession of 1992 was my 1986 Camaro. I bought her the prior year from a dealer who got her at a salvage auction. Only 25k on the odo. Easy front hit. The interior was mint. It still smelled new. I lovingly nursed her back to health. Within weeks of an $1800 paint job, some twat rear-ended me.

My very next vehicle was a brand new 1993 Firebird. It was my first new vehicle. I took delivery 2 weeks before my 19th birthday. Over the next 2 years it was subjected to:

- A fucking dog jumping on the passenger door and chewing the mirror.
- Some asshole dorking the driver's door, thereby leaving a silver dollar-sized chip.
- Numerous cat scratches on the hood and roof, along with pulls in the t-top weatherstripping.
- A rear-end collision.
- Being forced into another lane by a cunt on her phone, into--and consequently under--the steel bumper of a 1967 Mercury Comet (which sustained zero damage, compared to my wrinkled hood and severly-scratched nose.)

I've resolved myself to a life deprived of sweet rides. It hurts too much to see them ruined by others.
 

Klautermauffen

F-f-f-f-f-f-f-founderrr
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Mar 11, 2008
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WhaT COMES AROUND GOES AROUND.
?


...and um... I think maybe you meant 'what goes around comes around'. That is, if you are implying that it's karma coming back to kill. If not, then you're saying the actions of these women will come back to them eventually? ... as in, kill is a victim?

You are so stupid.
 

NiBBler

boop!
Dec 10, 2008
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The whole generalization towards women being bad drivers reeks of the same sort of lie given to the old saying "size doesn't matter". We know the truth.

Women drive as well as men and size does matter.