Best of the worst jokes ever.

SlimSkeeter

Guest
The other day I heard what was quite possibly the worst joke I have ever heard (not counting the Aristocrats joke, cuz thats more about making people sick) but I couldn't help but laugh, and I have since felt the need to share:

Whats red and smells like blue paint?

Red paint!

What are the worst jokes you couldn't help but laugh at?

Crappy assed thread this may be, but I'm tired and this is the best I could come up with on zero sleep.
 

Blood

Crimson Kunoichi
Founder
Mar 11, 2008
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What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves?

Christopher Walken.


Why do black people stink?
So blind people can hate them too.:yociexp37:
 

Polar Bear

ppbbtt! -excuse me.
Founder
Mar 5, 2008
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Dude, I love crappy jokes. I'm in.

Why did the monkey fall from the tree?
He was fucking dead.

Why did the second monkey fall from the tree?
The first monkey fell on him.

Why did the third monkey fall from the tree?
Peer pressure.

What's the difference between black people and a pile of dog shit?
After a while the dogshit turns white and stops stinking.

What goes red-black-white, red-black-white, red-black-white?
A wounded nun rolling down a hill.

And now, as a finale, I'm going to run through a short list of punchlines without the actual jokes so as to remove any possibility of them being funny:

"Superman, why are you always fucking with them niggers?"

"Well you couldn't be wearing glasses, you've got no fucking ears!"

"Rover, get the hell out from under there before he shits on you!"

"Well the first time, I told him my dick was bigger than his. The second time, I showed him."

"No, me no fuckem deer. Asshole too high...run too fast."

"Hey officer! Come quick! Hold my ass while I pull the hares off my cock!"
 

SlimSkeeter

Guest
This is awesome! Keep 'em coming.

Punch line with no joke:
Rectum? Damn near killed 'em!
 

Blood

Crimson Kunoichi
Founder
Mar 11, 2008
985
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What's do a woman and a box of KFC chicken have in common?

When you're done with the breasts and thighs, all you have left is a greasy box.


What do clouds and women have in common?

After they fuck off it turns into a beautiful day! :yociexp100:
 

Violet

Yaa!
Founder
Feb 28, 2014
765
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My favorite joke ever:

What's black and white and red and can't fit through a revolving door?

A nun with a spear through her head.
 

Negativecool

Gold Member
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May 30, 2008
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Went to the doctor's office the other day.
Doc told me I should stop masturbating.
Shocked, I asked him why.
He said "Because I'm trying to give you an examination!"







No seriously though, true story...
 

gigman

Bad Ass
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Mar 6, 2008
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If I go door to door campaigning for Obama, would that make me a nigger knocker? Ha Ha Ha
 

Negativecool

Gold Member
Founder
May 30, 2008
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Mary had a little skirt
with splits right up the sides
and every time that Mary walked
the boys could see her Thighs


Mary had another skirt
twas split right up the front
...but she didn't wear that one very often
 

Gravy

Trunk Monkey
Jul 1, 2008
504
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What happened to the Lebo who had an abortion?
Crime Stoppers sent her a check for $500!

What do you a Lebo who can surf?
Yusuff

What sits at the end of your bed and takes the piss out of you all day?
A dialysis machine.

What part of a cabbage can't you eat?
The wheelchair.
 

Gravy

Trunk Monkey
Jul 1, 2008
504
1
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Sydney, Australia
What’s the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
It only takes one nail to hang up a picture of Jesus.

Why do they keep a bucket of steaming dog-shit at an abo's wedding?
To keep the flies off the bride.
 

dunamis

Oh, I see.
Founder
Mar 16, 2008
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zorachus.net
What do you call a bold mattress?
Asserta.

How did the pepper feel when affronted by the salt?
Insalted.

What did the woman with allergies do when the federal agent raided her home without a warrant?
She sudafed.

I love puns, haha.