How to tick people off

Amythist

Sneaker Pimp
Mar 21, 2008
933
0
16
41
Why? Are you a stalker??
www.myspace.com
HOW TO TICK PEOPLE OFF

1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO."
4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
5. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
7. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."
8. Practice making fax and modem noises.
9. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.
10. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
11. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
12. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.
13. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
14. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
15. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
16. Staple pages in the middle of the page.
17. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
18. Honk and wave to strangers.
19. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
20. TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
21. type only in lowercase.
22. dont use any punctuation either
23. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
24. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.
"DO YOU HEAR THAT?"
"What?"
"Never mind, it's gone now."
25. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
26. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
27. Ask people what gender they are.
28. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
29. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
30. Sing along at the opera.
31. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
32. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
 

Unhappy Camper

Hells yeah
Founder
Mar 10, 2008
5,012
25
178
Fayettenam Area, NC
41.

The taste of the nasty fucker's finger that gets bitten off for being held to close to my nose while the mousy little dweeb proclaims in a girlish voice " see I'm not touching you! )
 

Negativecool

Gold Member
Founder
May 30, 2008
2,359
43
78
39
Internet
^^^The trend has been to post another way to annoy someone, not what engorges your floppy cock after someone annoys you.
 

Gravy

Trunk Monkey
Jul 1, 2008
504
1
16
34
Sydney, Australia
49. Keep alive threads that don't need to be kept alive.
50. Steal large numbers of magnetic P-plates and cover their car in them.
51. Sell their name & address to advertising companies over the internet.
52. Water the inside their letterbox with a watering can. Daily. Coinciding with the arrival of their mail.
53. Make anonymous tips to CrimeStoppers regarding strange smells and visitors at odd hours of the night at their home.
54. Turn on all of their outdoor taps while they're away on holiday. Leave them on.
55. Fill their bins with your own rubbish to the point where they have to start stacking things carefully on top so as not to topple the tower of trash.
56. Impregnate their daughter(s).
57. Introduce their toddler to the term "cunt".
58. Deliver flyers to their entire neighbourhood regarding the weekly "Klan Meeting" at their residence.
59. Sick dougheys on their front lawn. Fuckin' relax, 'aye!