I work with assholes.

Polar Bear

ppbbtt! -excuse me.
Founder
Mar 5, 2008
1,009
15
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So I'm a forklift driver for Easton/ Bell sports. I basically move boxes on skids all day. But I have this co-worker and, well....... here was this morning's coversation with him:

Him: Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

Me: Dude, has anyone ever told you that you talk too much?

Him: All my life.

Me: Really?...Your whole life and you still haven't learned that maybe some thoughts don't need to be voiced?

Him: (giggling)

Me: I don't know whether to commend you for sticking to your guns or pity you for being a fucking retard.

Him: (Throws hands up in the air like he just won something. More giggling.)

Me: (Hands him one of the bike helmets from the skid) Here, you should wear this.
 

Mamba

Uranium
Founder
May 22, 2008
2,288
1
66
Ew ^

I work with a few assholes as well. Sales environments are teeeeeeeeeming with them. With extra E's.
 

SlimSkeeter

Guest
I drive a forklift at work, as well, as part of my factory job. I move finished skids of parts into the warehouse and make sure my particular line stays running. There are 8 lines and 3 fork trucks. Basic math says thats not QUITE enough for everyone to have their own. However, one douche bag constantly uses them as his own little personal golf cart. He hops on, drives to the other end of the shop and sits his fat ass on the damn thing while he chats with someone else. Or, if someone is working in the warehouse, he will drive back there for no other reason than to talk to them. Meanwhile, the other 7 of us are trying to share the 2 other hi-lows with varying degrees of success. I'd like to run him through with the forks one day and just tell my boss he tripped. I CAN pass the drug test involved.
 

Gravy

Trunk Monkey
Jul 1, 2008
504
1
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Sydney, Australia
Assholes are what keeps work interesting! Without them, who would you make fun of or bitch about? Or better yet - who would you pull pranks on?

I love emptying cans of tuna underneath the bottom drawer of one particular co-worker's toolbox. I also enjoy cutting a small slice into a tomato sauce sachet and putting it under the keyboard of a co-worker in the parts department. Gets them every time!
 

jeepneasy

Dude!
Jul 14, 2009
73
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Central, CA
I love emptying cans of tuna underneath the bottom drawer of one particular co-worker's toolbox. I also enjoy cutting a small slice into a tomato sauce sachet and putting it under the keyboard of a co-worker in the parts department. Gets them every time!
These are great I will have to try these.... if you have access to 5606 hydraulic fluid put some in the exhuast of said coworker and his car will billow smoke for the next 30-50miles
 

Gzus

\m/ >< ..l.
Founder
Jun 20, 2009
463
0
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booshz.
www.istheinternetfuckingawesome.com
I work with assholes too.
Well, the clients are assholes, usually.
E.g.: We had a conference here regarding IT. I was called in at night, to help one of the tards copy and paste a fucking Powerpoint presentation from his Flash disk, to his desktop.
How can he posssibly be of any value to this conference?
 

SlimSkeeter

Guest
I work with assholes too.
Well, the clients are assholes, usually.
E.g.: We had a conference here regarding IT. I was called in at night, to help one of the tards copy and paste a fucking Powerpoint presentation from his Flash disk, to his desktop.
How can he posssibly be of any value to this conference?[/quote]

If you have never heard of it, you might get a kick out of this.
 

SlimSkeeter

Guest
You two good'ol boys should get together, write a song called "Forklift Boys" and name your band, "The Forklifters".
I much preferred operating an excavator. You can bury so many bodies with one of those....
 

NiBBler

boop!
Dec 10, 2008
1,207
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NC
When surrounded by assholes, one must decide whether to fuck or to be fucked.

Make your choice.