Inconsiderate people grind my gears

Mamba

Uranium
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May 22, 2008
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I freaking hate inconsiderate people. I'm sure I have been guilty of being selfish in the past, aren't we all, at some point? I mean, there's got to be a time when you say "Enough about them, what about me?" When the needs and wants of others drive you to despair and you realise that you never made time for yourself, to get into the "me" zone, for some "me" time...

But this isn't normal everyday behaviour, is it?

I hate it when people are just so selfish and self-absorbed that they think that the world revolves around them and their problems ALONE, and never once think about the way their attitude is affecting people who care about them.

When confronted about it, they either lie blindly, but verrrrrry convincingly or just shrug it off like it's not even important. Are these the kind of people we want in our lives? Because I sure as hell don't.

I want my friends to treat me well, like my feelings and opinions matter. Or else what is the point? Respect is a two-way street.

I mean, why do people do that? Is it because they truly don't care or are they just obtuse? Are they really that unaware of what goes on outside their own little bubble, that nothing else is consequential to their lives at all or are they just playing some kind of selfish game?

I just don't get it.
 

funeeman

Spank Me!
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Mar 3, 2008
586
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I think there is a certain segment of the population that pretty much thinks their world is the only one. I have a college buddy or ex-buddy that was like that. His world came crumbling down when his wife left him and took the kid. I was pretty much his support and blew through my savings willingly as we partied and reintroduced him to the singles scene. (man that was a blast no complaints there.) Then I hooked him up with his current wife and we actually all moved to the city and shared a place until they married. That's when I started to notice things. It seemed like I was always able to move him or his wife, but when I needed to move he had something else going that day or would show up and then 30 minutes later have to leave to do something right quick and never come back.

He and his wife eventually bought a new house and they were very house poor. The had 1970's Good Will furniture in this nice new 5 bedroom house. I was kind of embarrassed for them as they'd invite people over to this nice house for cook outs and then have this crap inside. They decided they needed to make some upgrades to the house. First I helped to a fish pond and fountain. Then he wanted to finish the basement and I of course helped him sheet rock it so save him money. I was usually pretty happy to help and he'd offer to cook steaks and buy some beer and we'd piss away the night. Then we did the privacy fence outside. This was the final straw in the friendship.

It was one of those 100 degree days and he had said he lined up 3 or 4 guys to help do the fence. I showed up and of course it was just me and him like always. We dug 35 post holes and had them done about noon. His wife came out and said. . she was going to run down the street to the burger joint to get lunch. She returned food in hand and he looked at me and he said, "if you want to go get something this would be a good time then we'll finish setting the posts when you get back." I couldn't hardly believe that I was there busting my ass with him and they didn't even offer to grab me a $2.00 burger. But I let it go since it was his wife's thoughtlessness.

I told him I was fine I just wanted to finish up and head home to shower before it got any hotter or I died of heat stroke. He choked down his burger then pointed at the pallet of concrete bags and and he said we'd need to use two bags on each post. We each grabbed a bag and took them to the first post, then the second. When we got to the third his wife came out and said "Pat why don't you come in and say good bye to Mom, Dad and my brothers. They're going to head home." Yes. . her dad and three 20 something year old brothers (two active duty military on leave) had been there the whole time. I said. . .you got to be shitting me? They're not helping us. . we could have been done by now. His response was that he didn't think it was fair to ask them to help since it was her family.

I shook my head. . .pissed off and then continued to carry the sacks of concrete why he went to say good bye. He made it back for the last two posts. I had carried 66 sacks of concrete in what felt like 120 degree heat while he was inside in the cool air. I finished mixing the cement and setting everything level for him. By then it was between 5 and 6. He says. . man. . I could really go for a steak and a beer. I of course said. . I could too and he walk to the fridge and got me a beer. He then says, "well. . I think we'll start with the runners and hanging the boards around 9 tomorrow. I'll see ya then."

I didn't go back and I didn't get a call from him for almost a year. He had sold his house, bragged about the extra profit from all the work he did to it (specifically stating the basement and fence) and then wanted to know if I could help him move that Saturday. I told him to go fuck himself.
 

Gzus

\m/ >< ..l.
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Jun 20, 2009
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I told him to go fuck himself.
WOW.

Been through very similar shit with my so-called friends.

Meet Kai Depkat.
A german guy I met here shortly after arriving in Uganda. Seemed like an okay dude, and was one of the very few I could talk to about my profession since he was (so he says) a lighting designer back in Germany.
He has just left his job at the time, and mentioned that he was looking for something to do. We didn't really need another tech, but I did mention him to my dept. manager.
Couple of months later, the resort expanded, another 10 conference halls and 2 ballrooms were built, business was picking up and we needed another experienced hand.
This I mentioned to Kai, and he was very excited. So much so that he called me every . . .. single . . . day asking what is happening.
Long story, he eventually started working with us.
First, after I showed and gave him a basic run down of what we use, how they work, etc he complained about my lack of documentation on my office PC. It basically came down to workshop / service manuals for all our equipment. Manuals we had in a cupboard, in the office.
I don't see the point of having it on my PC as well. There's a cupboard with ALL the manuals inside.
One day, I was sitting in the business centre going through my mail, he came in and told me theres a problem with the translation equipment in one of the rooms.
I walked over, pressed a (ONE) button sorting out the problem (I have gone through the set-up procedure, explained how it works, fault finding and what usually goes wrong, and showed him the simple fixes.
Instead of getting familiar with the gear, he spent 3 (THREE) months gathering manuals on his silly pc, which he doesn't use anyway, and therefor had to call me to fix it.

About a week after this, I was at a mates house, and he told me how Kai complained that he's not happy with how I work . . . . . and that he was thinking of replacing me, wtf??????????????????
I was already working at the resort for about 4 years at the time.
So it continued. This prick tried to stitching me up with every opportunity he got.
Sure, it pissed me off, but didn't think much of it.
Not long after that, he was in a financial crisis, I sorted him out.
Never got paid back.
He moved into a house of a mutual friend of ours. A friend who lent him $2500 (which he, up till today, hasn't paid back. Not even a single dollar) four years before, after his missus had a miscarriage which also came with a few complications.
So . .. he moved into their house, and the water bill had something like $8 outstanding. Kai called, harassed and verbally abused this guy and his wife because of this outstanding $8 (While owing them $2500.

Blah blah, he got fed up with the job, left without any notice. Just didn't show up at all. He went back to germany to feed off his aging moms allowance.
Failed at keeping a job, or doing anything really and came back to Uganda. Moved in with his girlfriend (crazy bitch) Wasnt long until he couldnt stand her, and asked if he could move in with me till he got sorted.

Being Mr Nice, I said sure, why the fuck not.
Big mistake.
Within a week, he bitched and moaned about me sleeping in my living room. "I am not used to this behaviour" he said. I told him I don't give a fuck, and he should get used to it, as this is what I do.
Crash out on my couch, fall asleep, wake up when the fuck ever, and if I feel like it, go to my room and sleep on my bed. Theres a reason why I have a huge-ass couch. Reason being that big-ass couches are good for sleeping on.
Next, he said we should make rules about listening to music, since he doesn't like my taste in music. I told him he wont be able to hear it of he's outside the gate.

The final straw came when he rocked up at my house with two hookers early one morning, the sun was not up yet, I was awake. I told him that its completely out of order bringing dirty slapper whores to my house, as I have told him when he moved in, and a few times after that when he hinted towards having one over.
Next thing I know, this bitch starts having a go at me . . . . . in my own house. Told her to get her filthy whore ass out of my house, or was busy doing that, when he chipped in "HEY! You DONT DARE talk to my friend like that"
I smacked him in the head and told him to STFU, pack his shit and fuck off immediately. Withing an hour, he had to be out.
For some reason he didn't take me seriously, so I had to kick his rooms door (was locked) down to drag his whores out.
After a while his saxophone was in pieces, and I was about to throw his laptop out the door when he gave up and said he'll move out asap.


WHAT THE FUCK is wrong with people??

I think Im done helping people out.
 

Mamba

Uranium
Founder
May 22, 2008
2,288
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Mamba said:
Are they really that unaware of what goes on outside their own little bubble, that nothing else is consequential to their lives at all or are they just playing some kind of selfish game
I lean towards this.
Which part do you lean towards?
 

Mamba

Uranium
Founder
May 22, 2008
2,288
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funee said:
I told him to go fuck himself
WOW.

Been through very similar shit with my so-called friends.

WHAT THE FUCK is wrong with people??

I think Im done helping people out.
Wow to the nth power. For both of those. It's amazing really.... that we actually think and care about how our actions affect others, and they do not. They actually have to have it pointed out, written in bold glaring letters on the nearest wall that they are being fucking selfish individuals.

AND, sometimes, even if you do explain to them how they're making you feel, how their actions are directly affecting you/annoying you or just downright hurting you-... they just shrug nonchalantly and/or say you're being unreasonable... or just point blank don't believe/understand you.

I swear it's like people come from a different planet sometimes. There's some huge fuck-up in comprehension of the language. Me no speako alieno.

The thing that makes me really angry though, deep inside, is that after all this treatment we just don't care anymore, after so much shit - (and one can only take so much shit in ones lifetime) we just say fuck it---- you know what, screw you. Screw them, I'm not helping anyone out anymore. And then we actually become like them... and the cycle continues. Soon there won't be any of us left.

There's a fine line between helping someone out, and becoming a doormat for people to wipe their shoes on.
 

Toao

Family
Nov 19, 2010
184
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Considerate people can be worse. Everyday, when I get off work, and get on the freeway, there are 2 lanes that choke into 1. It never fails, when i am in my old truck, someone in something like an M6 will insist on trying to be polite, and not just punch it and get on the freeway, and instead, stare at you like they want you to go. I guess it's because that way they can ride your ass all the way up the on ramp.
 

Klautermauffen

F-f-f-f-f-f-f-founderrr
Founder
Mar 11, 2008
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they just shrug nonchalantly and/or say you're being unreasonable... or just point blank don't believe/understand you.
THIS. Every day. :khi1a:

Favorite phrases of a-holes:
No I'm not.
No I didn't. / No I don't.
That's not true (a millisecond after you've finished your sentence)
Well YOU *insert table turning here*
 

Mamba

Uranium
Founder
May 22, 2008
2,288
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Both would have to be true in my opinion. If nothing outside their bubble has any serious consequence to them.. then everything is just a fun game of get-what-i-want-how-i-want
sigh* ...Yep.
 

Mamba

Uranium
Founder
May 22, 2008
2,288
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No I'm not.
No I didn't. / No I don't.
That's not true (a millisecond after you've finished your sentence)
Well YOU *insert table turning here*
YES! ... Wow, we are really on the same page here.
 

Toao

Family
Nov 19, 2010
184
0
16
44
Your friend/roommate story was funny Gzus.I used to live with roommates in my 20's, and after that, I was willing to live in a cardboard box as long as I didn't have to share it.
Probably the worst did a bit of everything. Besides housing, messed with work, relationships and such. And since he was in my living room on his couch, would screw chicks, and was oblivious to me showing up with guests when he was in the middle of it. Nothing like having an older aunt over, and to people are fucking in the living room like it's live porno.

When it came time for him to move, I was working with a gardening co, so I got my crew to load all of his shit into a dump bed, and took it to the crowded 7-11 where he worked, and dropped it in the parking lot. Sleeper sofa, dresser tv, fridge, everything.