Life insurance. I hope you die.

Unhappy Camper

Hells yeah
Founder
Mar 10, 2008
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So yeah anyway ...

I had a pretty nice "I'm dead" insurance plan while in the military, all troops do.

Recently I was in the market for some new coverage since my active plan is no longer usable as a retiree.

My military benefits were appx $400,000 in death coverage.


I'm shopping for insurance, I start with USAA since I'm a member of the joint already.

They quote me a TERM life policy with a monthly charge of $38 guaranteed for 30 years. I'm thinking yeah that's pretty damn good and accept the offer.

The next day I get a call from some mouth breathing loser asking me all sorts of question such as "in the last 5 years have you done anything dangerous such as ... ... " He proceeded to list some shit and I stopped him and said " dude, I was in the Army, I had combat tours in the last 5 years .. everything was dangerous".

The dude then said .. "oh .. well we need a med exam then".


So they send a nurse out to my house, takes some blood and pee as well as height and weight.

Two days later the fuckers call me and say that my adjusted quote is now $219 / month for 30 years.

I asked why .. THEY said its because of the nicotine in my blood.


... I told em to fuck off.



""""""""""""""""""""



But ..

I'm a responsible type .. I want my loved ones to have some cash for my dismembered carcass.




Long story short ..



I quit smoking. ( Day 7 )


Bad part ....


I'm gaining weight. ( 8 pounds so far ).






I'm fucked.
 

NiBBler

boop!
Dec 10, 2008
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not kidding 1 week 8 pounds, maybe you should do something different when you have a craving. go for a walk, clean something anything but eat!!!!!
Brushing my teeth helped me...gums got a little sore though, so I went back to smoking. hahah
 

SittinGrumpy

Guest
Get off his ass about the weight, when y'all quit then you can tell him how to do it.
 

Unhappy Camper

Hells yeah
Founder
Mar 10, 2008
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That quick? What the hell are you eating?

Normal daily stuff.


not kidding 1 week 8 pounds, maybe you should do something different when you have a craving. go for a walk, clean something anything but eat!!!!!

Yes, no kidding.

You don't know me so I will over look your assumption that I am a sedentary type.



**


Its most likely fluid retention and stress related weight gain. It will fix itself or I will take drastic measures because continuing to smoke is a nogo.
 

NiBBler

boop!
Dec 10, 2008
1,207
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Get off his ass about the weight, when y'all quit then you can tell him how to do it.
I was not on his ass (although that sounds tempting)... I don't care if he gains weight.

I was just giving him a suggestion since HE seemed to be concerned.
 

Scabman

I has title
Founder
Mar 20, 2008
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One of the rules about quitting smoking is to never find a substitute to replace the sigarette.
It said so, in that book I read.


Get some workout, dude. Instead of just yelling at the kids messing on your lawn, you can chase them!


Edit: Congrats on quitting, btw. Glad to know that the cranky guy on the net will live long and strong.
 

Klautermauffen

F-f-f-f-f-f-f-founderrr
Founder
Mar 11, 2008
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I think, for me, smoking really was just an oral habit and not so much an addiction. There are times when I choose to smoke for kicks, but have been years in between each. Each time, quitting has been pretty easy.

That said, I have every intention of starting smoking again some time after March 2010 - the herbal cigs. I'm convinced it's not about the nicotine for me. It's just an orally fixated comfort I take in a detrimental behavior. Sad but true. And I'm gonna indulge! =)

As for life insurance - those little nurses who come by look for anything and everything. Geez. You really should have tried to put them off for a couple weeks. =/
 

Unhappy Camper

Hells yeah
Founder
Mar 10, 2008
5,012
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As for life insurance - those little nurses who come by look for anything and everything. Geez. You really should have tried to put them off for a couple weeks. =/
Would not have worked .. the nurse chic said the blood test can give a positive nic level for as far back as 10 months in a regular smoker.

That means even though I quit in Nov '09 I will still have a "insurance no no" level in July '10.

Still I needed a motivator to kick the habit.

I was a workout Nazi while I was on Active duty.

Smoking never fit in with my stance that the body is the ultimate weapon ... and yet I smoked for 9 years.

Weird ...
 

Gravy

Trunk Monkey
Jul 1, 2008
504
1
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34
Sydney, Australia
I'm a responsible type .. I want my loved ones to have some cash for my dismembered carcass.
Your loved ones should sell your organs on the black market for extra $$$ on top of the insurance policy when you eventually cark it.

It would easily give them enough to buy that convertible Volkswagen Beetle they've been dreaming of.
 

Unhappy Camper

Hells yeah
Founder
Mar 10, 2008
5,012
25
178
Fayettenam Area, NC
Your loved ones should sell your organs on the black market for extra $$$ on top of the insurance policy when you eventually cark it.

It would easily give them enough to buy that convertible Volkswagen Beetle they've been dreaming of.

Indeed.

In fact if I could legally sell a kidney or a lung or an eyeball I'd have my parts up on EBAY right NOW.
 

funeeman

Spank Me!
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Mar 3, 2008
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Increase your water intake for the next 2-3 weeks to around 100 oz a day and cut out the salt or at the very least use very tiny amounts of sea salt. That should take care of the weight as its just water weight. You could drink some tea as well as that is a natural diaretic and will flush the water out.

You should still be able to get a cheaper quote on insurance, check around. My BIL chews and he get's his life around $87 a month for $400,000 in coverage. Of course you're old so it might be slightly higher.