Neighborhood watch .... pffft

Unhappy Camper

Hells yeah
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Mar 10, 2008
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So, I'm driving though my 'neighborhood' last night and I notice sheets of paper attached to people's mailboxes.

I get home and ask my live in poontang if we had one as well. ( she gets home before me ... damn over educated, know it all engineers) She said yes, I asked for it, and read it.

It was a multi-paragraph request for all homeowners to attend a Neighborhood meeting at a small hillbilly Church in the vicinity.

Firstly, I Live in a rural setting, I have a small lot of 2 acres. Houses in this area are not placed side by side as in a typical US subdivision setting. Roads are two lane country type, in other words, paved but not maintained to the standards of a road found inside the city limits.

Apparently, according to the note, there have been break-ins and assorting shenanigans recently in our area. And some, I assume, well meaning person or persons have taken it upon themselves to ask for a meeting in order to do .. umm well fuck I don't know.

So, reluctantly and at the behest of my live in poontang, I will be going to this thing on Thursday night at 1900hrs.

I have decided to wear my Combatives Instructor uniform in an effort to keep people from talking to me.

I'm dead set against any group of untrained, scared, ill informed, possibly racist fuckers roaming my neighborhood with their heads filled with grand schemes like many get when they think they are protecting the common good.

North Carolina, like many other US states, has had a massive influx of people from Latin American countries. Irrespective of these people's legal status they ALL seem to get treated as if they are a) Stupid, b) untalented, and/ or c) criminal. SIMPLY because they have a brown tint to their skin tone. And I feel concerne that some mob like mentality will prevail at this meeting.


Basically ... I'm going. And most assuredly I will unashamedly speak my mind if needed.

I'll ask the "poontang" to video me if I get on a tirade.
 

Scarlet

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Mar 3, 2008
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Is there any possibilty that someone observed you undertaking the break-ins or were you extra careful?
 

Unhappy Camper

Hells yeah
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Mar 10, 2008
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Is there any possibilty that someone observed you undertaking the break-ins or were you extra careful?

Wasn't me .. I swear !

On a side note ...

Comparing my 'stuff' with the 'stuff' of anyone with-in a mile of my house is like comparing a Military supply depot to a homeless dude's shack.


Also ..


I pity the foo that attempts any shenanigans at my place.

Scenario #1

I come home to half chewed chunks of ass and face all over the premises when would be thief meets unrestrained Pitbull/lab mix.

Scenario #2

I double tap a would be thief with .40 caliber rounds to the face when said thief tries dumb shit when I am home.

Scenario #3

I am surprised ( yeah right) and am forced to break would be thief's neck with my bare hands.
 

Absinthe

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Mar 2, 2008
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I get home and ask my live in poontang if we had one as well. ( she gets home before me ... damn over educated, know it all engineers)
Poontang???? I was home only 15 minutes before you, so stop your bitching...


And some, I assume, well meaning person or persons have taken it upon themselves to ask for a meeting in order to do .. umm well fuck I don't know.
Some people are concerned... what's wrong with that?

So, reluctantly and at the behest of my live in poontang, I will be going to this thing on Thursday night at 1900hrs.

I have decided to wear my Combatives Instructor uniform in an effort to keep people from talking to me.
Hahahaha... I don't think that is going to work... you wear that shirt and everybody will see you as an authority figure (hehe) and will ask for your advice.

"Live in poontang"????

I'm dead set against any group of untrained, scared, ill informed, possibly racist fuckers roaming my neighborhood with their heads filled with grand schemes like many get when they think they are protecting the common good.
...
And I feel concerne that some mob like mentality will prevail at this meeting.
I do agree with you on this one... But remember they included a description of a car...


Basically ... I'm going. And most assuredly I will unashamedly speak my mind if needed.
As if ANYTHING has EVER kept you from doing that...

I'll ask the "poontang" to video me if I get on a tirade.
It will be fun...
 

Scabman

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Mar 20, 2008
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Norwyay
Convince them to build bunkers with stationary potato-guns.
It'll probably serve useful for later times.
 

SlimSkeeter

Guest
Can't wait for the video post!

The only neighborhood watch I ever attended was when my nephew and I watched the hot neighbor girl who was a couple years older than us mow the lawn in her bikini. Sadly she moved but I have since seen her and her bikini would not fit anymore *shudders*.

That being said, while a neighborhood watch may be a somewhat useful idea in some settings (urban/suburban), in others its not only ill-suited but somewhat ridiculous to attempt. I live in a very rural area. I'm on 4+ acres and there are only 2 other houses that are permanently in use (one other is a "hunting camp"). In settings such as this, unless routine patrols and spotlights are instituted, a neighborhood watch is a waste of time. Also, I agree with the Prick, handing the safety of my castle over to a bunch of rednecks is not a good idea.

HEY, Go to that meeting with a NIMBY (Not In My Back Yard) shirt on instead of your Combatives Instructor uniform, because Absinthe is right, you wear the uniform, you might just get put to work.

Neighborhood watch is just another term for nosy neighbor
 

Negativecool

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May 30, 2008
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I have decided to wear my Combatives Instructor uniform in an effort to keep people from talking to me.
You are going to wear this and expect people not to talk to you when there's hooligans afoot? If you waltzed in half drunk and dressed like a retarded assclown, I would think no one would want to talk to you.

I hope you bring gauze because you're going to be biting your tongue a lot if you intend on not saying anything.
 

Scabman

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Mar 20, 2008
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I still can't believe that you refused my idea of building your very own hick army armed with potato guns.
It would be awesome.
 

Unhappy Camper

Hells yeah
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Mar 10, 2008
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You are going to wear this and expect people not to talk to you when there's hooligans afoot? If you waltzed in half drunk and dressed like a retarded assclown, I would think no one would want to talk to you.

I hope you bring gauze because you're going to be biting your tongue a lot if you intend on not saying anything.

Yep ... I intend to be silent unless and until the thing goes haywire and looks is if their actions and decisions might affect me and my liberties.

I don't give a fuck how badly they fuck themselves up, but I will intervene if it involves restrictions on my personal privacy and right to property.
 

Negativecool

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This will help you run for Sheriff, right?
That's it!!

This is just an elaborate plan from an evil genius. Cause some fear, exploit that fear, be the hero that catches the bad guys and calms the fears.

That's brilliant! How much are you paying the guys to break into people's homes? When are you going to double-cross them to achieve law enforcing greatness, ensuring that you'll win sheriff nomination in a landslide, while the "real" sheriff looks like a fat tool?
 

Unhappy Camper

Hells yeah
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Mar 10, 2008
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This will help you run for Sheriff, right?
About as much as being a "community organizer" makes one qualified to be the CIC.

That's it!!

This is just an elaborate plan from an evil genius. Cause some fear, exploit that fear, be the hero that catches the bad guys and calms the fears.

That's brilliant! How much are you paying the guys to break into people's homes? When are you going to double-cross them to achieve law enforcing greatness, ensuring that you'll win sheriff nomination in a landslide, while the "real" sheriff looks like a fat tool?
Pay ? If I were doing that, then there would be several less illegals on the earth right now.


My maxim:

Trust no one ... leave no witnesses.
 

Unhappy Camper

Hells yeah
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Mar 10, 2008
5,012
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Fayettenam Area, NC
Ok...

I spent 52 minutes in a room of country ass mofos that are obviously scared of their own shadow.

I said about ten words in total, so no tirade, sorry.

I grew up in the woods, around the people that are supposed to be the "salt of the earth". The country people I remember would have been more boisterous and more outraged more so for the fact that they themselves could not string up the dirty fucking criminal.

But my "neighbors" ...I'm ashamed for these people.


I made one suggestion to a lady that was concerned about gun safety and children, she inquired about a gun safe in which to lock the weapon. I told her to spend $50 on a comfortable hip or shoulder holster and keep the gun on her at all times, problem solved.


Lame ...