Nightly Naugty Talk

KommieKat

Mao's Pet Cat
Founder
Mar 2, 2008
3,497
6
68
58
Hong Kong, hiding from the Kommies!
Talking the nasty while doing the nasty...........


Cranium and Absinthe:

C: BITCH!
A:ASSHOLE!
C: (SLAP)
A: (Backhand SLAP)
C: Nazi Whore!
A: Yankee Doodle Faggot!
C: (Horrendous titty twist)
A: (Ball breaking kick to the nuts)

A: OK, I think were ready.....Yeah?
C: Yeah babe, we're ready, lets do it........
(as they procede to roll all over the bedroom floor like stunt-men in a Hollywood movie)




Violet and Polar Bear:

PB: Babe, you like it? Like my cock deep in your pink juicy pussy......?
V: Like it? I LOVE it!
(hump hump hump hump)
V: Babe, thrust your cock in my mouth!
PB: Yeah baby, sounds good.................You like that?
V: Like it? I LOVE it!
V: Let me stick my finger in your asshole while I suck on your manliness.....
PB: Oh YEAH BABE!
V: You like that?
PB: Like that? I LOVE IT!!



Slimskeeter and his woman:

S: Is this OK?
?: ...............
S: How does it feel?
?:................
S: I'm not hurting you, am I?
?:.................
S: Damn, you feel so fucking gooooooood!
?: Hey, you haven't even stuck it in yet.......................!


Titty and his Wife:

W: Like that honey?
T: mmmumble.....
W: Honey??? I said, you like that??
T: mmmumble.....
W: Hey, what's wrong with you? Why are you mumbling?
(Titty mangages to uncork his head from between her giant titties)
T: Damn woman! When I said I wanted to titty fuck ya, I didn't mean with my whole fucking head!! I couldn't fucking breath!! Daaaaamn.......


Nibbler and her Man:

N: Tell me you love me.....
M: I love you.....
N: Tell me that I'm the only one.....
M: I love you and you're the only one, Mary..........
N: MARY! You called me.............MARY!! My best friend???!!! You fucked my best friend?...... How could you!! (whaa whaa whaa)
M: Sorry! I meant......Nibbler!!


Kill and his woman:

K: Say I'm the greatest!!
W: OK OK! Don't hurt me! You're the greatest!
(Kill twist her arm behind her back)
K: Say I've got the biggest cock you've ever had!!
W: OK OK! Don't hurt me! You've got the biggest cock I've ever had!
(Kill punches her in the gut)
K: Say I'm the greatest fuck, ever!
W: OK OK!
K: You didn't say it fast enough!
(Kill punches her in the face, breaking her jaw and giving a black eye to the bitch)


Scab and............and............his Dude :11_003:

S: Not fair not fair!
D: Why is it not fair?
S: Your cock is way bigger than mine and you always win!
D: Well, you're the one who always challenges me to sword fights over the toilet bowl. What did you expect?


Blood and her Dude:

B: Slice me, fucker!
(he slices a bit from the underpart of her tit, blood trickles down)
B: Drink it! Drink my blood tit, fucker!
(he licks at the blood from the open wound on her tit)
B: Suck my fucking toes, fucker!
(he sucks her toes)
B: Open your mouth, wide, fucker!
(he opens wide and she proceeds to piss in his mouth)


Josie and her Man:

(Josie in the bed, with her legs spread wide open, showing the love cave)
M: Babe, not tonight! I don't want ANY MORE BABIES!


Grumpy and her Man:

G: Call me Pocahontas, babe.
M: Pocahontas?! I'll Poca my cock all in your hontas, BIOTCH!
Now roll the fuck over, with your fat ass facing the ceiling, BIOTCH!
 

Klautermauffen

F-f-f-f-f-f-f-founderrr
Founder
Mar 11, 2008
3,846
26
68
32
Seattle
Slimskeeter and his woman:

S: Is this OK?
?: ...............
S: How does it feel?
?:................
S: I'm not hurting you, am I?
?:.................
S: Damn, you feel so fucking gooooooood!
?: Hey, you haven't even stuck it in yet.......................!


Nibbler and her Man:

N: Tell me you love me.....
M: I love you.....
N: Tell me that I'm the only one.....
M: I love you and you're the only one, Mary..........
N: MARY! You called me.............MARY!! My best friend???!!! You fucked my best friend?...... How could you!! (whaa whaa whaa)
M: Sorry! I meant......Nibbler!!
^ LOL


kommie said:
Josie and her Man:

(Josie in the bed, with her legs spread wide open, showing the love cave)
M: Babe, not tonight! I don't want ANY MORE BABIES!
I hate you.
 

Unhappy Camper

Hells yeah
Founder
Mar 10, 2008
5,012
25
178
Fayettenam Area, NC
Nibbler and her "Man du' jour":

N: Tell me you love me.....

M: I love you.....

N: Tell me that I'm the only one.....

M: I love you and you're the only one, Mary..........

N: MARY! You called me.............MARY!! My best friend???!!! You fucked my best friend?...... How could you!! (whaa whaa whaa)

M: Sorry! I meant......Nibbler!!

Small change makes it funnier !! ^^
 

Unhappy Camper

Hells yeah
Founder
Mar 10, 2008
5,012
25
178
Fayettenam Area, NC
Violet and Polar Bear:

PB: Babe, you like it? Like my cock deep in your pink juicy pussy......?
V: Like it? I LOVE it!
(hump hump hump hump)
V: Babe, thrust your cock in my mouth!
PB: Yeah baby, sounds good.................You like that?
V: Like it? I LOVE it!
V: Let me stick my finger in your asshole while I suck on your manliness.....
PB: Oh YEAH BABE!
V: You like that?
PB: Like that? I LOVE IT!!

That's just fucking creepy ...
 

Polar Bear

ppbbtt! -excuse me.
Founder
Mar 5, 2008
1,009
15
68
45
I don't even know what to say. I'm only posting to acknowledge that it happened, and that I saw it.

...Past that, I'm speechless. That's EXACTLY how it sounds when we do it.
 

NiBBler

boop!
Dec 10, 2008
1,207
0
66
51
NC
Talking the nasty while doing the nasty...........


Cranium and Absinthe:

C: BITCH!
A:ASSHOLE!
C: (SLAP)
A: (Backhand SLAP)
C: Nazi Whore!
A: Yankee Doodle Faggot!
C: (Horrendous titty twist)
A: (Ball breaking kick to the nuts)

A: OK, I think were ready.....Yeah?
C: Yeah babe, we're ready, lets do it........
(as they procede to roll all over the bedroom floor like stunt-men in a Hollywood movie)




I think you are giving Cranium waaayyy too much credit.

I picture it more like this:

C: Open your legs.
A: Like this?
C: Yes, and don't move.
hump, hump
A: You're done?
C: You expected more?
A: Oh... well...thank you. (gratefully)
C: You're welcome, just blessing you with my awesomeness.
 

Unhappy Camper

Hells yeah
Founder
Mar 10, 2008
5,012
25
178
Fayettenam Area, NC
I think you are giving Cranium waaayyy too much credit.

I picture it more like this:

C: Open your legs.
A: Like this?
C: Yes, and don't move.
hump, hump
A: You're done?
C: You expected more?
A: Oh... well...thank you. (gratefully)
C: You're welcome, just blessing you with my awesomeness.
Not exactly ...


Me: I have a cock.

Her: Yaaaaa !! Gimmeee !! noooooooowwwwwwww !!

Me: Ok.

Her: Thanks !!
 

NiBBler

boop!
Dec 10, 2008
1,207
0
66
51
NC
Not exactly ...


Me: I have a cock.

Her: Yaaaaa !! Gimmeee !! noooooooowwwwwwww !!

Me: Ok.

Her: Thanks !!
Gawd.. Ya'll need help.


How to Have the Best Sex



  1. Step 1
    Find a favorite position. Try out as many positions as you have to in order to determine your favorite positions.
  2. Step 2
    Be creative. Try talking dirty or role playing. You will have to step outside your shell. Be comfortable and be yourself.
  3. Step 3
    Introduce new things. Try out new toys or games that initiate sex. You might be amazed at what you discover you enjoy.
  4. Step 4
    Focus. During intercourse focus solely on the act in progress. Speak what you want and do what you want and you may just find yourself having the best sex ever.
 

Unhappy Camper

Hells yeah
Founder
Mar 10, 2008
5,012
25
178
Fayettenam Area, NC
Gawd.. Ya'll need help.


How to Have the Best Sex

1. Gay crap that a woman thinks is cool and sexy while the guy thinks is fucking moronic to the point of comical.

2. More shit I saw in a glossy magazine written by 76 year old Hermaphrodites and guaranteed to " Turn him on in 18 steps !! ".

3. Spike his drink so he is unable to leave after sliding me the beef tube ... snuggle with his body till noon ( being sure to check his breathing so he doesn't die from all the horse tranq I gave him)

Yeah .. we don't need any of THAT help, thanks !!
 

Syenite

Flying squirrel vagina
Founder
Oct 23, 2013
582
37
28
Redneckville, Canada.
I think you are giving Cranium waaayyy too much credit.

I picture it more like this:

C: Open your legs.
A: Like this?
C: Yes, and don't move.
hump, hump
A: You're done?
C: You expected more?
A: Oh... well...thank you. (gratefully)
C: You're welcome, just blessing you with my awesomeness.
I wish someone would talk to me like that during thee sexes.
 

Guess Who

member
Jun 25, 2009
265
0
16
34
usa
kommykat and his wife
kk: Baby I don't like you anymore. I just realized you don't have a dick.
W: I just realized something too neither do you. I am leaving you.
 

Scabman

I has title
Founder
Mar 20, 2008
1,202
5
68
34
Norwyay
[COLOR=\"RoyalBlue\"]Scab and............and............his Dude[/COLOR] :11_003:

S: Not fair not fair!
D: Why is it not fair?
S: Your cock is way bigger than mine and you always win!
D: Well, you're the one who always challenges me to sword fights over the toilet bowl. What did you expect?

Pffft, as if I'd ever lose a match of frotting.



[COLOR=\"RoyalBlue\"][COLOR=\"RoyalBlue\"]Josie and her Man:[/COLOR][/COLOR]

(Josie in the bed, with her legs spread wide open, showing the love cave)
M: Babe, not tonight! I don't want ANY MORE BABIES!
lol