Only In Australia

Scarlet

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Mar 3, 2008
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My Ozzie cousins can be daft buggers at times.

Cops and robbers break into same house

May 28, 2008

FOR a burglar, being chased by the police is one thing. But finding them already there when you jemmy open the window just doesn't seem fair.

That was the shock awaiting a couple of thieves who staged a midnight raid on a Melbourne house last week.

But the police weren't waiting for them - in fact, they were no less surprised.

The Melton property was allegedly being used for growing hydroponic cannabis, and the detectives were on a raid to arrest the resident, a man in his 20s.

The startled burglars fled, but were caught a couple of days later, said Det Sen-Sgt Paul Cassidy, of Melton CIU.

"It is unusual," he said.

He would not say whether the burglars had been after money or drugs.

The three arrested men, all in their 20s, have been remanded to appear in court.
 

Scarlet

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Mar 3, 2008
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Stupid Australian Laws

A life sentence is 25 years.

Children may not purchase cigarettes, but they may smoke them.
You may never leave your car keys in an unattended vehicle.
It is illegal to roam the streets wearing black clothes, felt shoes and black shoe polish on your face as these items are the tools of a cat burgular.
It is illegal to walk on the right hand side of a footpath.
Under Australian Communications Authority (ACA) regulations, a modem can’t pick up on the first ring.
Bars are required to stable, water and feed the horses of their patrons.
The legal age for straight sex is 16, unless the person is in the care/custody of the older person, in which case it is 18.
Only licensed electricians may change a light bulb.
It is illegal to wear hot pink pants after midday Sunday.
You must have a neck to knee swimsuit in order to swim at Brighton Beach.
Until the Port Arthur Killings it was legal to own an AK-47 but illegal to be gay.
Lawmakers are proposing a new law that will not allow anyone to come closer than 100 meters from a dead whale’s carcass.
It is illegal to drive straight into your driveway, you’re meant to reverse in and drive out straight.
 

mcsmc

Yaa!
Apr 4, 2008
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So what I'm trying to figure out... is were the cops outside the house, or inside? If they were inside, did they sneak in? If they were outside, were the burglars fucking blind?
 

Scarlet

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Mar 3, 2008
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So what I'm trying to figure out... is were the cops outside the house, or inside? If they were inside, did they sneak in? If they were outside, were the burglars fucking blind?
Being Australians, they were probably drunk off their faces with too much Fosters.
 

hottyhere

Noob
Apr 19, 2008
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WTF no one drinks fosters in australia unless they are 100 years old or a fucking loser lol they drink Bundy and coke
 

Scarlet

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Mar 3, 2008
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WTF no one drinks fosters in australia unless they are 100 years old or a fucking loser lol they drink Bundy and coke
Yeh, the country must be 95% geriatrics and losers then...oh wait...it is.

Foster's leading beer range is enjoyed by drinkers throughout the world. Led by Foster's Lager, one of only a handful of truly global beer brands, our portfolio includes Australian and international icons like Australia's favourite beer, Victoria Bitter, premium favourite Crown Lager and great imports like Corona and Asahi. The number one performer in three major segments of the Australian beer market - premium, full-strength and lower alcohol, Foster's brands are part of the Australian lifestyle, enjoyed by drinkers throughout the country and indeed the world.
 

hottyhere

Noob
Apr 19, 2008
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Pink I hate to break it to you but most people don't drink Foster here. Yes most love VB and 4X but most aussies actually drink either bundy and coke or bourbon and coke. Me personally I either drink bundy and coke or red wine depending on the mood and the company I am in.

Stats can say whatever the reality is something totally differnet however I am speaking from a Qld so the rest of the states could tell a different story.
 

Scarlet

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Mar 3, 2008
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An Aussie flew from Adelaide to Brisbane on Virgin Blue to deliver a load of cannabis, about $90,000.- worth. You'd think it would not be too smart to transport your drugs on a plane and through airports as snifferdogs might pick it up, but this man's suitcase was that smelly that the human baggage handlers at Adelaide airport already smelled it. They opened the suitcase and kept the drugs for themselves. The courier was quite upset when he opened his suitcase in Brisbane and found the drugs missing, so he flew back to Adelaide and made death threats to the baggage handlers who he wanted to return the drugs. The baggage handlers then contacted police who arrested the drug dealer!
Dumb ass.
 

Silly Cunt

Fingerbanger
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Mar 30, 2008
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Western Australia
Being Australians, they were probably drunk off their faces with too much Fosters.

Fuckface, I urge you to find an Australian that drinks Fosters.

You cant even buy Fosters in Australian liquor stores.

When I'm overseas, and there's Fosters in the mini-bar, I pitch it off the balcony.

Moon rocks are more Australian than Fosters. Throw another shrimp on the barbie. Thats a big knife, Crikey, Russell Crowe (?), and all other Australians stereotypes can lick my crusty piss flaps.
 

Scarlet

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Mar 3, 2008
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Fuckface, I urge you to find an Australian that drinks Fosters.

Moon rocks are more Australian than Fosters. Throw another shrimp on the barbie. Thats a big knife, Crikey, Russell Crowe (?), and all other Australians stereotypes can lick my crusty piss flaps.
Firstly, who the fuck do you think you are waltzing in here calling me a fuckface? That is probably a very unwise move on your part.

Secondly, Russell Crowe is a Kiwi...not an Australian stereotype.
He was born in Wellington NZ, moved to Sydney, Australia when he was 4 or 5 . Then he moved back to NZ when he was a teenager and then back to Oz when he was 21.
 

Scarlet

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Mar 3, 2008
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A few years ago a couple of blokes were somewhere out in the South Australian desert playing a game that was a bit on the cruel and politically incorrect side. They caught rabbits, tied a stick of gelignite to them and then set them free. The rabbits would then run into their burrows after which a huge explosion would rock the ground. However, after the game had continued for a while one rabbit decided to do something different, he ran the other way and hid under the new Toyota Landcruiser!
 

KommieKat

Mao's Pet Cat
Founder
Mar 2, 2008
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Hong Kong, hiding from the Kommies!
A few years ago a couple of blokes were somewhere out in the South Australian desert playing a game that was a bit on the cruel and politically incorrect side. They caught rabbits, tied a stick of gelignite to them and then set them free. The rabbits would then run into their burrows after which a huge explosion would rock the ground. However, after the game had continued for a while one rabbit decided to do something different, he ran the other way and hid under the new Toyota Landcruiser!
Now THAT is a bunch of bullshit!

You stole that from one of the Darwin Awards:

Dog fetches dynamite, runs under his masters new 4X4 which is parked on a frozen lake because he is ice fishing, dynamite ignites, dog is dead, car is sunk, owner still making payments on the car.


YOU SUCK because YOU STEAL from others.
 

Scarlet

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Mar 3, 2008
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Now THAT is a bunch of bullshit!

You stole that from one of the Darwin Awards:

Dog fetches dynamite, runs under his masters new 4X4 which is parked on a frozen lake because he is ice fishing, dynamite ignites, dog is dead, car is sunk, owner still making payments on the car.


YOU SUCK because YOU STEAL from others.
How the fuck do you think it got into the Darwin Awards in it's changed state, you great flaming chink eyed loving greasy loser?
Mine was the ORIGINAL version before some renegrade Yank altered it. There are NO frozen lakes in Australia. Goddamnit, you are a twoddly twisted scrap of crap paper dangling from a megafugly asswart. Wake up to yourself, you turd fragment and pay more attention to that ex bargirl/slut/hooker wife of yours (and half of HongKong's ex nookie)
 

mcsmc

Yaa!
Apr 4, 2008
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Now THAT is a bunch of bullshit!

You stole that from one of the Darwin Awards:

Dog fetches dynamite, runs under his masters new 4X4 which is parked on a frozen lake because he is ice fishing, dynamite ignites, dog is dead, car is sunk, owner still making payments on the car.


YOU SUCK because YOU STEAL from others.
Haha, that exact thing came to mind when I read her post.

You lose, pinkslit.
 

mcsmc

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Apr 4, 2008
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How the fuck do you think it got into the Darwin Awards in it's changed state, you great flaming chink eyed loving greasy loser?
Mine was the ORIGINAL version before some renegrade Yank altered it. There are NO frozen lakes in Australia. Goddamnit, you are a twoddly twisted scrap of crap paper dangling from a megafugly asswart. Wake up to yourself, you turd fragment and pay more attention to that ex bargirl/slut/hooker wife of yours (and half of HongKong's ex nookie)
Go to DarwinAwards.com, look up the fucking story, and realize it wasn't even IN Australia, either.

Your "original" folktale is nothing but... sorry but buddha's right on this one.