PB's Relationship help-line.

Polar Bear

ppbbtt! -excuse me.
Founder
Mar 5, 2008
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In this thread, ask me questions about your love life, and utilizing my vast experience, knowledge, and wisdom (and my C-average public school education), I will do my best to answer your questions with care, acceptance, objectivity, and understanding.

I'm here to help you.

Go.
 

KommieKat

Mao's Pet Cat
Founder
Mar 2, 2008
3,497
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Hong Kong, hiding from the Kommies!
Dear PB,

My wife sounds like an elephant when she blows her nose. It's very un-lady like and god awful. What's a mannered man to do?

Also, when it's her turn for doing the dishes, she'll leave cups and bowls upright, meaning that there is a little bit of water inside. What's an anal retentive man to do?
 

Polar Bear

ppbbtt! -excuse me.
Founder
Mar 5, 2008
1,009
15
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Dear PB,

My wife sounds like an elephant when she blows her nose. It's very un-lady like and god awful. What's a mannered man to do?

Also, when it's her turn for doing the dishes, she'll leave cups and bowls upright, meaning that there is a little bit of water inside. What's an anal retentive man to do?

First, about the nose blowing, you must ask yourself a few questions:

Is this something she can help if she tried? Or is it quite involuntary? Is it a source of embarassment for her as well, or does she seem content to sound like that?

Once you've answered those questions, you'll better understand how best to handle it. Honesty is paramount, but being married to someone does not relieve you of the responsibility to treat your partner with respect and tact. Deep down in her heart, she's the same beautiful flower you fell in love with.

Also understand that if she decides to be unrelenting, it may come down to you simply having to accept it. In that circumstance, take a step back and look at your wife as a whole. Is this nose blowing thing, frequent and horrible enough to make fighting about it worth it? How much is serenity in your home worth to you?

As for the dishes, I would recommend the same approach as above if it's seriously bothering you. But ultimatly, I think the best advice would be to relax a little bit. Surely the world will not come to a halt if theres a bit of access water left on the bowls when she's done.

I mean that's why they sit in that drainer thing in the first place..to dry out over time. Basically, you're arguing that there's a more efficient way of doing it, and there is, but it's not as if there's any additional cost to doing it her way. Nothing spent, nothing lost, man.
 

Polar Bear

ppbbtt! -excuse me.
Founder
Mar 5, 2008
1,009
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Dear PB.

How do I keep my bitch in check? Should I hit harder?

Love Scabs
It's really not about how hard you hit them. It's about how theatrically.

A good battered bitch gets her face smashed in three/ four times a night sometimes. But with the advent of teh women's rights movement, everything has changed. They've become defiant...stubborn.

In another 20 years a wife beater is going to have to start packing firearms in order to maintain daddy status. But thankfully, keeping a bitch in check, and fucking her shit up are two different things.

You want your bitch docile, and fearful, not bloodied and hospitalized. To do this requires a none-too-subtle flair for the dramatic. So again..it's not about how hard so much as how colorfully and convincingly.

Think of each ass-stomping as a mini-broadway play. Don't be afraid to overdo the theatrics. Spew out random quotes from the Bible while you kick her down a flight of stairs, for example.(King James Version preferably) Anything that makes her think you're fucking looney will likely have the desired effect. Tell her knock knock jokes while simultaneously throwing her off a balcony.

Theatrics.

60% of the time it works every time.
 

InterStella

Shit Mum.... Yay!
Founder
Mar 11, 2008
738
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Rule Britannia!
That ^^^ is the funniest thing I've read on tinternet for ages, and deserves kudos.

(can't do it yet, need to spread the lurve)

PB... you make me LOL.

*cleans the screen*
 

Silly Cunt

Fingerbanger
Founder
Mar 30, 2008
382
0
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Western Australia
You want your bitch docile, and fearful, not bloodied and hospitalized.
I'm having trouble comprehending this statement, but I think I can understand your POV.

However, my question.

I am currently at a point in my life where I refuse to engage in any form of relationship (fear), and have subsequently turned into some form of man-whore, albeit non paying?

Should I start demanding money?