Ridiculous Birthday Present to Self

Kill_em_All

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So my birthday is this coming Sunday and in recognition of the event, I've been partying pretty much non-stop for about the last week and a half. Yes, I'm one of those people who are so full of themselves that they drag out their birthdays over the course of a couple of weeks. Blow me.

So yesterday I'm at a friends house who, coincidentally, works at the Wolf Sanctuary about 45 miles outside of St. Louis. She's telling me about the sudden influx of pups that they're seeing at their location, and how they're ill-equipped to handle X amount of pups this time of year, because the typical gestation period for Timber and Grey Wolves is between February and March. It's very uncommon, apparently, to see this many new pups so late in the year.

So in my drunken stupor, I made the brilliant decision to "adopt" a 2-month old Timber Wolf pup. Meet Roxy (named after a local strip club)...



Cute, right?

Here's what she'll look like in about a year...



An almost seamless transition, yes?

I'm not a dog person. In fact, I fucking hate dogs. But this isn't really a dog. It's not like I'm going to train her to bring me my slippers, or fetch the paper. At best, I'll raise her to be a menace that my neighbors call the cops on frequently and who keeps solicitors away from my door.

Another thing I didn't count on was the fact that wolves howl. Even pups. Let me tell you, there's nothing like completely forgetting you inherited a fucking wolf and waking up with a pounding tequila hangover to the sound of a screaming wolf in your house.

Still, I'm rather happy with my decision. She's really calm for a pup. She's already paper trained, and who can deny the cool factor to having a wolf for a pet?

Oh, you have a pit bull? That's nice. My dog? Oh, it's a wolf. Pwned.
 

SlimSkeeter

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I got no competition...I have a beagle and a schnauzer/beagle mix. Friendly as hell but nothing to strike fear in the hearts of strangers. Well, the mutt is fairly odd looking but not in a scary way.
 

Kill_em_All

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Clearly my time is so unlimited that a designated allotment is set aside so that I may facilitate fabrications on web forums. *eye roll*

I am, indeed, the recent recipient of a wolf pup (which actually isn't that uncommon in this part of the Midwest).

I've also made a decision today that I'm going to feed it strictly red meat. No dog foods made from meat byproducts like pork and chicken. My friend from the sanctuary suggested venison, and I've found through the Missouri Department of Conservation that I can actually get processed roadkill deer meat at a conservation department about five miles from my house. Additionally, I've learned that unless I want a wolf that's a vicious, life-sucking creature of death (which I'm somewhat leaning toward), I need to get it around other dogs relatively soon. There's a dog park at a local city park very near me, so I'm going to try it out tomorrow as the weather here is supposed to be fucking awesome. First comes microchipping and vaccinating.

I'm now off to go put water in Prick's wife's dish.
 

Negativecool

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Additionally, I've learned that unless I want a wolf that's a vicious, life-sucking creature of death (which I'm somewhat leaning toward), I need to get it around other dogs relatively soon.
As I understand it, wolves with blue eyes are cute and nice while wolves with brown eyes are evil man eating dickfaces.
As proven by the following:
Nice and blue.

Mr. meany brown-eye
 

Kill_em_All

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From what I understand, Timber Wolves (which is what I have) when raised in the home, are typically shy and reserved, but only if they're introduced to domestication methonds VERY early on (like within the first two weeks of life). The colors will change. She'll lose her blue eyes in the next few weeks and they'll transition to brown or one brown, one blue. Her coat will stay gray for the next few months, but likely will transition as well, barring that there's no possibility of her being a Timber/Gray Hybrid mix. If she ends up being a mixed breed, chances are very well that she'll be very mean and very hostile regardless of what methods I use to domesticate her. Fortunately, Nikki at the sanctuary has told me that if that's the case, they'll take her back. Unfortunately, it'll likely take an instance of her ripping one of my kids' arms off to make that determination.
 

mcsmc

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Apr 4, 2008
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Partying? How does that activity of yours not surprise me...

As to your wolf, big deal. Sure, it will keep the common trailer trash and hobos from stealing your electricity and mooching your CDs from your mail club before you check your mail, but lets face it... anyone with a handgun and/or a piece of meat of their own to feed the canine will have no problems making themselves at home with the equipment in your shed. Just saying.

Oh yeah, and the responsibility factor? Dogs, and especially wolves, as pets, are considered the owners responsibility, so I hope you have a decent fence around your property and all of the appropriate warning signs and bullshit. Otherwise, you may be selling some possessions to settle a lawsuit or two.

Honestly, bullshit aside though, it seems to me you are always trying to find something new and extraordinary (without appearing to be fishing for such). I am betting you cry at night. No worries... your insecurity is not THAT noticeable. ;)
 

Blood

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Do you have any experience with dogs at all?
If not i have a hard time believing that any reputable sanctuary would just give some random dude a wolf cub.
Even so, you gotta know that they are alot harder than normal dogs to train and yes, you gotta train them hardcore.
Wolves aren't the type of dogs that do well with neglect IE not training them and just kinda feeding them and letting them wonder around in your back yard like a "outside dog" like so many people do.

I'm not trying to come off sounding like a dick, but you must take this seriously or you could end up ruining this animal and possibly getting someone hurt in the process. All I'm asking is for you to read up on them and stick with her training and not half ass it.

Oh btw, don't take a puppy to a dog park, whats wrong with you? haha
Dog parks are for dogs that are trained to have damn good call back, so incase one of the other dogs goes crazy you know your dog will be safe by your side. I know alot of people try to bring their puppies but its really not a smart idea because you have no idea how and if the other dogs there are raised. Also do you know what kind of dog park it is? They have dog parks strictly for small dogs and puppies and then they have parks for larger dogs so that, if and when the animals play together nobody gets hurt.

I don't know, it would be one thing if this were just a normal mutt but the moment you tell people its a wolf alot of ignorant people will get scared and avoid you like the plage. I had to train two timber pups when i was growing up and it was one of the hardest jobs i've ever had to do. To me they seem to be on the 'most likely to go postal' list when it comes to dogs, and dogs like that need to be trained as most people say it, "the faggy way". IE, you can't hit it or yell at them or lock them up when your train them or they take it personaly and get either super mean or they act like they are submissive but one day they'll surprise you and end up eating your childs face while your not looking.

Thats another thing, you gotta socialise it around children hardcore.
Ugh, sorry for rambling at you, but there is just so much shit to do in such a short amount of time and you can't afford to not be 100% ontop of things. =/

BUT, if you do this right then i promise you you will have the smartest, most loyal animal you've ever known. :)
 

Kill_em_All

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Honestly, bullshit aside though, it seems to me you are always trying to find something new and extraordinary (without appearing to be fishing for such). I am betting you cry at night. No worries... your insecurity is not THAT noticeable. ;)
I cry at night like you frequently get laid by the female race. Just because your life provides you with nothing of any excitement that reaches beyond the status quo doesn't mean the rest of us are sentenced to lives of monotony. I "find something new an extraordinary" because I actually enjoy life, rather than go with the flow. If you feel the need to bash me because of that, then who's the one that's really insecure here?

Now release my nuts.

Do you have any experience with dogs at all?
If not i have a hard time believing that any reputable sanctuary would just give some random dude a wolf cub.
Surprisingly, no. I have no real experience with dogs. And the sanctuary didn't "just give me a wolf cub". My friend Nikki is the assistant director and this was a pup she brought home on her own accord and didn't have the capacity to continue to keep it in her home. She asked me if I knew anyone who wanted it and since I owed her a favor, my dumb ass volunteered.

Even so, you gotta know that they are alot harder than normal dogs to train and yes, you gotta train them hardcore.
Wolves aren't the type of dogs that do well with neglect IE not training them and just kinda feeding them and letting them wonder around in your back yard like a "outside dog" like so many people do.

I'm not trying to come off sounding like a dick, but you must take this seriously or you could end up ruining this animal and possibly getting someone hurt in the process. All I'm asking is for you to read up on them and stick with her training and not half ass it.
I'm considering hiring a trainer. My time is limited and I don't really have the patience, understanding, or ability to train a turtle, much less a fuckin wolf. I considered backing out of my agreement to take her, and give her back to my friend, but you don't just give a friend your word and then back out when it looks like it might get tough or expensive. There's a local trainer that I found online last night who specializes in exotic pets. I'll be calling him today.

Oh btw, don't take a puppy to a dog park, whats wrong with you? haha
Dog parks are for dogs that are trained to have damn good call back, so incase one of the other dogs goes crazy you know your dog will be safe by your side. I know alot of people try to bring their puppies but its really not a smart idea because you have no idea how and if the other dogs there are raised. Also do you know what kind of dog park it is? They have dog parks strictly for small dogs and puppies and then they have parks for larger dogs so that, if and when the animals play together nobody gets hurt.

I don't know, it would be one thing if this were just a normal mutt but the moment you tell people its a wolf alot of ignorant people will get scared and avoid you like the plage. I had to train two timber pups when i was growing up and it was one of the hardest jobs i've ever had to do. To me they seem to be on the 'most likely to go postal' list when it comes to dogs, and dogs like that need to be trained as most people say it, "the faggy way". IE, you can't hit it or yell at them or lock them up when your train them or they take it personaly and get either super mean or they act like they are submissive but one day they'll surprise you and end up eating your childs face while your not looking.
What's your experience in this arena? Any further advice I can get is obviously appreciated.

BUT, if you do this right then i promise you you will have the smartest, most loyal animal you've ever known. :)
This (aside from the cool factor) is what really influenced me to accept the pup. My friend told me that Timbers are very unique, intelligent, and faithful animals, even more so than the average dog. But, as is the case with anything, you get back what you put in. I don't want a snarling beast (as cool as it would be). But then again, I don't want Fido Everydog, either. I just want a comfortable medium. Somewhere in between. If I can get that much out of the deal I'll be happy.
 

Gravy

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Jul 1, 2008
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Tie it to a treadmill for 2 days running at level 10 or so. I hear those fuckers can run for days on end, and require you to prove this theory.
 

Klautermauffen

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Mar 11, 2008
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All dogs have come from the wolf in their evolution, so...........if I have a Chiwaowao, it is in fact somewhat part wolf, therefore, the little guy is expected to kick some ass on my command.
I can't say this without an 80's guitar solo in the background...

chi- wAo WAOOOOO *insert too much wammy*
 

Kill_em_All

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All dogs have come from the wolf in their evolution, so...........if I have a Chiwaowao, it is in fact somewhat part wolf, therefore, the little guy is expected to kick some ass on my command.
Thank you, Charles Darwin, for that fine forensic analysis. Now if you're not too busy, bring me a scotch.