so my neighbors are douchebags

suki

Family
Apr 1, 2008
148
0
16
43
for the sake of brevity (I'm pregnant and tired)...

my neighbor is a cock smoking bitch. she yells at everything. hates everything and makes my dogs growl whenever she stands outside.

I had to call the fuzz on her for some minor infraction (that with a normal neighbor I would just knock on their fucking door for)...

and the cop, well...

he cracked me the fuck up.

he HATES them. he says he's been a cop here for 20 years...and that I bought the wrong house.

he went on to explain that he'd like to club my neighbor like a baby seal...and asked me to hold his gun while he went to talk to her...

just in case.

he said that every time he's had to deal with her, he's ending up on the carpet in front of his seargant explaining why he unholstered his weapon or called her a cunt.

ha.

good to know I'm not the only one who hates her.

bad to know I have to live next to her bitch ass.


luckily for her, tonight...he must've gotten an urgent call. we heard sirens blazing and him peel out.

maybe he did get a call.

we're actually thinking it was his sarge reeling him in before he committed homicide.

I hate her.

really...I do.
 

Titty

Proud White Boy
Founder
Mar 2, 2008
1,243
38
78
46
Where the sun doesn't shine
In the 10 years I've owned my house, I've physically threatened only two of my neighbors (which, if you knew me, is really surprising the total isn't much higher. There are only 7 houses on the entire street [one of which my brother owns], though, so I guess my ratio isn't that effed, all things considered).

The first was a renter who liked to work (read- drink beer, crank the stereo and beat the rear fender with a hammer) on his truck till 3am; start and race the engine of said jalopy approximately 35 times daily (usually coinciding with nap time for newborn Titty Jr.); and had a steady stream of filthy children, relatives, "friends" making quick stops for little plastic baggies, and authorities both to and fro. Scummy neighbor and the inbred brood have since moved. I'd like to think I had a hand in that. My only regret was calling him a cocksucker in front of the priest who used to live across the street. Come to think of it, that likely hastened the decision for his departure as well, so I can't say it's something I'll beat myself up over.


The other is the self-professed owner of the street. He has lived in this area his entire life (as if that's something to brag about) and his wife is *gasp* the Town Clerk. Apparently that grants license to have a hand in everyone's business. This also enables one the liberty of driving down a dead-end street marked with a 15mph speed limit at approximately 50mph with a beer in his hand where 6 children under 10 reside and play. And these are his most redeeming qualities.

After offering (well, it wasn't so much an option as a given should he choose to wear my last good nerve) to forcefully remove him from his vehicle and introduce his face to the newly-resurfaced asphalt in front of his own house following a close call with my 4 year old niece, he decided it would be in his best interest to change his ways.

He won't even look in my direction now. Who says diplomacy doesn't work?
 

Shade

I fucking rule!
Mar 20, 2008
483
0
16
41
Nowhere
Buffalo ny is probly the worst place to have an apartment in humanity. I remember thee was this one couple when i lived in lockport, Every night around 11pm or so, you would here shit breaking from downstairs. So my ex would put her head down to the floor to be nosey. Apparently it was the girl who was beating up the guy all the time. So one day i had a bunch of kids over for a birthday party, and the walls in that place where paper fucking thin. Well, this ass storms up there at like 9am starting to yell at one of the kids for being loud, who opened the door thinking it was me. Needless to say that didnt end to well. Mostly mean glares and slow breaths with really mean words explaining what was about to happen. He went downstairs. next to them, where 2 coke/crack heads, which i almost had to drag out on the fucking lawn. The couple above us, the guy was always cheating on his gf with his baby's momma. And they had some kind of big ass dog that would chase balls. Man that building blew.

Then another place, suppose to be the nicest street in the whole city, i had these drunken frat kids living above us. They where constantly waking up my ex's kid. Well after about 3-4 times of asking them to chill out over about a month, where the last time they all left running down the stairs slamming on my door at like 1am, i just went up knocked on her door with a really big fucking kitchen knife, and explained how it was very hard to cut things atm, listening to all that noise. and that i was really getting sick of it. This time i waited downstairs waiting on them fuckers. each of em saw me with the knife so they didnt exactly pound on the fucking door. pussy's. I was ready to fight all of em fuckers. Like 17 of em. The place before that i found the landlord was a convicted sex offender after i left, and one of the places after that was a fucking lady who with her and the landlords wife ended up making up retarded rules like you couldn]t use the front hall, or use the porch, or have porticrean babies over and shit. It was nuts.
 

KommieKat

Mao's Pet Cat
Founder
Mar 2, 2008
3,497
6
68
58
Hong Kong, hiding from the Kommies!
One neighbor in HK said, " Yankee, go home!"

In Jp, they have the 'Neighborhood Watch' like group called Tonarigumi.
They are a left over of the War days who are neighbors watching over neighbors, reporting them to the authorities (Kempie: Jp Gestapo) for suspicious and anti-war behavior.

We call them "Neighborhood Nazis". They killed my dog.:yociexpress09::too_sad:
 

suki

Family
Apr 1, 2008
148
0
16
43
aaaaaaaaaahahahaha

"they killed my dog"


fucking cracked me up.

update on this bitch.

the fuzz talked to her. she lied. he left. end of story.

the trash...is still fucking there. the borough supervisor said that I'll need to pay for a special permit to have it removed.

I said I was going to stab her.

the police say they can't do anything.

I said I was going to stab her.

and the neighbors on our other said say they absolutely positively saw this wood in her yard.

soo...ted's NOT going to throw the shit over the fence the minute he gets home..and I'm NOT going to fucking stab her.

additionally, the borough supervisor is NOT going to harrass them over building permits and removal of construction material.

EVERYONE hates these people. it's amazing. even my mild-mannered ex-husband told this bitch (and I quote) to "shut the fuck up and get back in the house, bitch!"

I once went nuts (with a baseball bat) on a bunch of crackwhores...and yet...

wasn't nearly as angry as them as I am at her.

I'm TOTALLY going to park directly in front of her house.


for years.
 

Shade

I fucking rule!
Mar 20, 2008
483
0
16
41
Nowhere
aaaaaaaaaahahahaha

"they killed my dog"


fucking cracked me up.

update on this bitch.

the fuzz talked to her. she lied. he left. end of story.

the trash...is still fucking there. the borough supervisor said that I'll need to pay for a special permit to have it removed.

I said I was going to stab her.

the police say they can't do anything.

I said I was going to stab her.

and the neighbors on our other said say they absolutely positively saw this wood in her yard.

soo...ted's NOT going to throw the shit over the fence the minute he gets home..and I'm NOT going to fucking stab her.

additionally, the borough supervisor is NOT going to harrass them over building permits and removal of construction material.

EVERYONE hates these people. it's amazing. even my mild-mannered ex-husband told this bitch (and I quote) to "shut the fuck up and get back in the house, bitch!"

I once went nuts (with a baseball bat) on a bunch of crackwhores...and yet...

wasn't nearly as angry as them as I am at her.

I'm TOTALLY going to park directly in front of her house.


for years.
How...suburbanized. I'll fucking killer her!!! I'm going over to her house right fucking now!!!
10 minutes later
so what did you do honey?
I totally got that bitch back! While asking her to please tone it down, i totally steped all over her grass, i didnt even use the sidewalk!
 

*Lins*

You Fail.
Founder
Mar 16, 2008
95
0
6
34
Canada
for the sake of brevity (I'm pregnant and tired)...

my neighbor is a cock smoking bitch. she yells at everything. hates everything and makes my dogs growl whenever she stands outside.

I had to call the fuzz on her for some minor infraction (that with a normal neighbor I would just knock on their fucking door for)...

and the cop, well...

he cracked me the fuck up.

he HATES them. he says he's been a cop here for 20 years...and that I bought the wrong house.

he went on to explain that he'd like to club my neighbor like a baby seal...and asked me to hold his gun while he went to talk to her...

just in case.

he said that every time he's had to deal with her, he's ending up on the carpet in front of his seargant explaining why he unholstered his weapon or called her a cunt.

ha.

good to know I'm not the only one who hates her.

bad to know I have to live next to her bitch ass.


luckily for her, tonight...he must've gotten an urgent call. we heard sirens blazing and him peel out.

maybe he did get a call.

we're actually thinking it was his sarge reeling him in before he committed homicide.

I hate her.

really...I do.

WHOA... What???? How did I not know this before...
 

suki

Family
Apr 1, 2008
148
0
16
43
How...suburbanized. I'll fucking killer her!!! I'm going over to her house right fucking now!!!
10 minutes later
so what did you do honey?
I totally got that bitch back! While asking her to please tone it down, i totally steped all over her grass, i didnt even use the sidewalk!


is it also suburban to throw dog shit at them?

I'm thinking that's my next move.