The suicide thread

Scabman

I has title
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Mar 20, 2008
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Someone ate the last chocolate chip cookie, the coffeemaker got broken or you're starting to lose your hair.
Bottom line, life just got too depressing to continue living and it's high time to off yourself!

Now, how do you do it? Do you favor theatrics, are you a traditionalist or just downright a McGyver fan?
 

Incognito

Family
Mar 11, 2008
311
0
16
Florida
I don't think I could ever kill myself. I'm sure there are some situations that would cause me to resort to it... like an impending death that would be slow and painful or losing my entire family... but the common reasons for suicide would not cause me to kill myself (like a divorce or break up, money problems, loneliness etc.).

So if I were put in the rare position to think of suicide, I guess I'd go with a gunshot to the brain. I've thought about overdosing on pills as the least painful way to die... but its kind of a slow process... you have too much time to wait around for death to come. Also, an overdose of a drug can cause some side effects which would be very unpleasant... and sometimes, it causes you to puke... and if you puke it up, you might not die, you might just lay there in your own puke convulsing, clutching your stomach in pain and experiencing heart palpitations (all for nothing). Yep, a gunshot to the brain is quick and effective.
 

Titty

Proud White Boy
Founder
Mar 2, 2008
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Where the sun doesn't shine
I guess I'd go with a gunshot to the brain.
In lieu of a single response regarding the above statement, I've compiled a list:

-Why not choose a method that might actually work?

-Why would you go and ruin a perfectly good slinky?

-But...but...with whom will Hawkins confer when pondering quantum physics?

-Where will the mice play?

-I doubt it would change your daily routine.

-I hope you're a good shot.

-I hope you'll never actual consider it. Me will cry.
 

Jenn

True Bitch
Founder
Mar 14, 2008
760
1
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New Jersey
In lieu of a single response regarding the above statement, I've compiled a list:

-Why not choose a method that might actually work?

-Why would you go and ruin a perfectly good slinky?

-But...but...with whom will Hawkins confer when pondering quantum physics?

-Where will the mice play?

-I doubt it would change your daily routine.

-I hope you're a good shot.

-I hope you'll never actual consider it. Me will cry.
Reading your posts are very bad for me right now.. I just had surgery, and this post made me crack up.. now I'm in pain. =\ :yociexp63:

Anyway, I don't know how I would kill myself.. I never thought about it.
 

funeeman

Spank Me!
Founder
Mar 3, 2008
586
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The simple way would be to start your car in the garage and let the carbon monoxide do you in. You go to sleep and that's it. However. . if you have a new insurance policy that won't work since they don't pay out for suicide under two years. You need to duct tape your legs together and hand cuff your arms behind your back and lay in front of a freight train. That leads to a possible murder scenario and your family can still collect the insurance.
 

Incognito

Family
Mar 11, 2008
311
0
16
Florida
In lieu of a single response regarding the above statement, I've compiled a list:

-Why not choose a method that might actually work?

-Why would you go and ruin a perfectly good slinky?

-But...but...with whom will Hawkins confer when pondering quantum physics?

-Where will the mice play?

-I doubt it would change your daily routine.

-I hope you're a good shot.

-I hope you'll never actual consider it. Me will cry.
All good responses... but the fifth one was the best.
 

Incognito

Family
Mar 11, 2008
311
0
16
Florida
The simple way would be to start your car in the garage and let the carbon monoxide do you in. You go to sleep and that's it.
Yeah its physically painless... but you still have too much time to await death. Too much time to talk yourself out of it. It would be mentally excruciating.
 

Jenn

True Bitch
Founder
Mar 14, 2008
760
1
16
38
New Jersey
The simple way would be to start your car in the garage and let the carbon monoxide do you in. You go to sleep and that's it. However. . if you have a new insurance policy that won't work since they don't pay out for suicide under two years. You need to duct tape your legs together and hand cuff your arms behind your back and lay in front of a freight train. That leads to a possible murder scenario and your family can still collect the insurance.
What a well thought out plan lol
 

SlimSkeeter

Guest
A trip the Caribbean, rent a small ship for the afternoon, get yourself a shit-ton of raw steaks, go out a few miles, chum the water and wait for the sharks, strap as much meat onto yourself as you can and jump in. Its fairly quick (although admittedly painful for a short time) and when they find your boat adrift with no signs of struggle, you might make headline news. That 15 minutes of fame, just about 5 minutes too late.

Having said that, the only thing that would make me commit "suicide" is being in a situation where the only thing keeping me alive is machinery. Pull the damn plug, I don't want to sit there like that.
 

Klautermauffen

F-f-f-f-f-f-f-founderrr
Founder
Mar 11, 2008
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Seattle
I honestly can't think of anything very creative :(

Headline: Josie found dead in same lame manner as 10 million before her.
 

KommieKat

Mao's Pet Cat
Founder
Mar 2, 2008
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Hong Kong, hiding from the Kommies!
I honestly can't think of anything very creative :(

Headline: Josie found dead in same lame manner as 10 million before her.
Hmmm.............

How about this one:
You are a diver. You die from the bends, as your body is floating up from a depth of say, 1000 meters. Dolphins come to assist you, but alas, they are too late because you're dead and your body has that Bubble Wrap look to it.

Nice?
 

Klautermauffen

F-f-f-f-f-f-f-founderrr
Founder
Mar 11, 2008
3,846
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Seattle
Hmmm.............

How about this one:
You are a diver. You die from the bends, as your body is floating up from a depth of say, 1000 meters. Dolphins come to assist you, but alas, they are too late because you're dead and your body has that Bubble Wrap look to it.

Nice?
Interesting... yes... but I'm not sure that would count as suicide?
 

Negativecool

Gold Member
Founder
May 30, 2008
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Internet
I would pay someone to kill me at their leisure so I don't know when or where it will happen, and in doing so (in a round about way) kill myself.

I can't imagine a good way to do it myself directly. I'd probably go with the classic bullet to the brains...but I'm not sure if I'd want it that fast or not. Maybe I'd just find a way to get on the top of the Sears tower and jump off.

...not creative enough...

I'm not good at contemplating my own suicide like the rest of you emo fags.
 

Scabman

I has title
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Mar 20, 2008
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Come to think of it, youtube-lasse made some suicide videos.

[video=youtube;MBCk7IvTTTw]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MBCk7IvTTTw"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MBCk7IvTTTw[/video]

[video=youtube;aCXmYMPEAlc]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCXmYMPEAlc"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCXmYMPEAlc[/video]

Get inspired!