Time For A Pee

Scarlet

.
Founder
Mar 3, 2008
1,741
0
66
49
When you have to visit a public bathroom, you usually find a
line of women, so you smile politely and take your place.
Once it's your turn, you check for feet under the stall
doors. Every stall is occupied.


Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking
down the woman leaving the stall. You get in to find the
door won't latch. It doesn't matter, the wait has been so
long you are about to wet your pants! The dispenser for the
modern 'seat covers' (invented by someone's Mum, no doubt)
is handy, but empty. You would hang your purse on the door
hook, if there was one, but there isn't - so you carefully,
but quickly drape it around your neck, (Mum would turn over
in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR!), yank down your
pants, and assume ' The Stance.'



In this position your aging, toneless thigh muscles begin
to shake. You'd love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't
taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so
you hold 'The Stance.'



To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for
what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In
your mind, you can hear your mother's voice saying, 'Honey,
if you had tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN
there was no toilet paper!' Your thighs shake more.



You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on
yesterday - the one that's still in your purse. (Oh yeah,
the purse around your neck, that now, you have to hold up
trying not to strangle yourself at the same time). That
would have to do. You crumple it in the puffiest way
possible. It's still smaller than your thumbnail.



Someone pushes your door open because the latch doesn't
work. The door hits your purse, which is hanging around your
neck in front of your chest, and you and your purse topple
backward against the tank of the toilet. 'Occupied!' you
scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious,
tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, lose your
footing altogether, and slide down directly onto the TOILET
SEAT. It is wet of course. You bolt up, knowing all too well
that it's too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with
every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat
because YOU never laid down toilet paper - not that there
was any, even if you had taken time to try. You know that
your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because,
you're certain her bare bottom never touched a public toilet
seat because, frankly, dear, 'You just don't KNOW what kind
of diseases you could get.'



By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the
toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream
of water like a fire hose against the inside of the bowl
that sprays a fine mist of water that covers your butt and
runs down your legs and into your shoes. The flush somehow
sucks everything down with such force that you grab on to
the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged
in too.



At this point, you give up. You're soaked by the spewing
water and the wet toilet seat. You're exhausted. You try to
wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket and then
slink out inconspicuously to the sinks.



You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the
automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a
dry paper towel and walk past the line of women still
waiting.



You are no longer able to smile politely to them. A kind
soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of
toilet paper trailing from your shoe. (Where was that when
you NEEDED it??) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk
it in the woman's hand and tell her warmly, 'Here, you just
might need this.'



As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since
entered, used, and left the men's restroom. Annoyed, he
asks, 'What took you so long, and why is your purse hanging
around your neck?'



This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with public
restrooms (rest??? you've GOT to be kidding!!). It finally
explains to the men what really does take us so long. It
also answers their other commonly asked questions about why
women go to the restroom in pairs. It's so the other gal can
hold the door, hang onto your purse and hand you Kleenex
under the door!



 

Violet

Yaa!
Founder
Feb 28, 2014
765
9
18
Hehe.

This is why I avoid peeing in public. I can go 8-9 hours if I have to. I have a bladder of steel!

:yociexp75:
 

funeeman

Spank Me!
Founder
Mar 3, 2008
586
1
16
45
North Main Street
Hehe.

This is why I avoid peeing in public. I can go 8-9 hours if I have to. I have a bladder of steel!

:yociexp75:
Technially wouldn't it be elastic or rubber or something stretchable rather than something like steel that would only allow the exact volume it was designed to hold?
 

Mamba

Uranium
Founder
May 22, 2008
2,288
1
66
Technially wouldn't it be elastic or rubber or something stretchable rather than something like steel that would only allow the exact volume it was designed to hold?

Steel-enforced rubber. Naturally.

The fact that you decided to get technical about Vi's bladder is creepy in itself.

:khi2d:
 

Violet

Yaa!
Founder
Feb 28, 2014
765
9
18
Technially wouldn't it be elastic or rubber or something stretchable rather than something like steel that would only allow the exact volume it was designed to hold?
Technically, you're a butt for making me think too much on this.

Umm, I suppose so. I mean, bladders are already pretty stretchable, so comparing it to elastic or rubber doesn't make it sound much more impressive. I was kinda going with the whole abs of steel/buns of steel thing. I guess you could say my bladder is like a giant steel drum that holds a lot of pee.
 

mcsmc

Yaa!
Apr 4, 2008
527
0
16
Technically, you're a butt for making me think too much on this.

Umm, I suppose so. I mean, bladders are already pretty stretchable, so comparing it to elastic or rubber doesn't make it sound much more impressive. I was kinda going with the whole abs of steel/buns of steel thing. I guess you could say my bladder is like a giant steel drum that holds a lot of pee.
I bet it's hard for you to find clothes that fit your body shape, with that drum and all.
 

Shade

I fucking rule!
Mar 20, 2008
483
0
16
41
Nowhere
one time, i drank like 2 litters of water and a few glasses of pop and didnt pee, instead i went to bed, and i woke up the next morning where i could barely move cause i had to pee sooo bad, but i delt with the pain, and got up, and walked to the bathroom and peed and it lasted for like 2 full minutes, no kidding. I was counting. I'm proud of my bladder! It gets a gold star!