When I was Young... Well Younger...

Syenite

Flying squirrel vagina
Founder
Oct 23, 2013
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Redneckville, Canada.
- I thought that the reason my Dad couldn't drive on the other side of the road was because he did something bad over there once.

- I called Bologna "fruit" when I was first learning to talk. I most definitely made at least one babysitter want to pull her hair out when I repeatedly asked for "fruit" and didn't want the actual fruit she was trying to feed me.

What odd/funny things did you think when you were a kid?
 

Klautermauffen

F-f-f-f-f-f-f-founderrr
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Mar 11, 2008
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Seattle
I thought it snowed everywhere when it was winter. At 9, I flew to Las Vegas from Alaska over Christmas break. While landing, I looked out the window, saw that it was sun-shiny and green grass and pools were everywhere and said "Oh! Las Vegas is below the equator, how interesting!"

I'd also never heard (or heard of) a slot machine and thought someone was dying in the terminal as I walked up the ramp. For whatever reason, an obese woman with flaky skin came to mind, flailing, having a heart attack and the little airline cop people scurrying around in their little golf carts, lights blazing, sirens screaming..

Entry of terminal: "Oh. The obese people are fine, they're just playing video games."

=(
 

Syenite

Flying squirrel vagina
Founder
Oct 23, 2013
582
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Redneckville, Canada.
I thought it snowed everywhere when it was winter. At 9, I flew to Las Vegas from Alaska over Christmas break. While landing, I looked out the window, saw that it was sun-shiny and green grass and pools were everywhere and said "Oh! Las Vegas is below the equator, how interesting!"

I'd also never heard (or heard of) a slot machine and thought someone was dying in the terminal as I walked up the ramp. For whatever reason, an obese woman with flaky skin came to mind, flailing, having a heart attack and the little airline cop people scurrying around in their little golf carts, lights blazing, sirens screaming..

Entry of terminal: "Oh. The obese people are fine, they're just playing video games."

=(
Ba ha ha that's cute.

My mom tricked me once with one of those clear face masks. I was five or six years old when I came into the room to talk to my mom and grandmother. I had the misfortune to come in just as the masks were ready to come off. My mom looked at me and said "Samantha, I have something very serious to tell you. In our family, when you get to a certain age, your face peels." And she proceeded to peel off her mask.

.. I ran screaming from the room and locked myself in the bathroom. It took her almost an hour to calm me down. .. Mean mom.
 

SlimSkeeter

Guest
I used to think Santa was real.

I kept a boogie man as my imaginary friend...which honestly speaks volumes, doesn't it?

I once tried to give my dog a skylight in his doghouse...and couldn't figure out why I was getting yelled at by my father.
 

Syenite

Flying squirrel vagina
Founder
Oct 23, 2013
582
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Redneckville, Canada.
Haha, I chortled at that. I'm having a little girl soon... tempting.
Ba ha ha. It was mildly traumatizing, but I suppose I probably put her through enough to deserve it.


I used to think Santa was real.

I kept a boogie man as my imaginary friend...which honestly speaks volumes, doesn't it?

I once tried to give my dog a skylight in his doghouse...and couldn't figure out why I was getting yelled at by my father.
Awwe. I used to put the cats on the farm in upside down milk crates to play "zoo". God I think those cats must have hated me.
 

KommieKat

Mao's Pet Cat
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Mar 2, 2008
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Hong Kong, hiding from the Kommies!
I used to think that dolls where only for girls until later in life I remembered the G.I. Joes I used to have....


When I was in 3rd grade, I thought girls had 3 holes. One for pee pee, one for poo poo and one for babies.

Which reminds me:
My friend at that same time and age thought women get preg by the man peeing in them to give them the big belly.
 

Syenite

Flying squirrel vagina
Founder
Oct 23, 2013
582
37
28
Redneckville, Canada.
I used to think that dolls where only for girls until later in life I remembered the G.I. Joes I used to have....


When I was in 3rd grade, I thought girls had 3 holes. One for pee pee, one for poo poo and one for babies.

Which reminds me:
My friend at that same time and age thought women get preg by the man peeing in them to give them the big belly.
Ba ha ha, I wonder how many other kids think things like that?

I'm sure more than we'd like to admit.
 

Saucy

________________
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Mar 11, 2008
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San Antonio, TX
I thought that babies came from the stomach.

I used to think when it rained....all the angels in heaven were peeing.
 

semj_gandel

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Jul 30, 2009
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when i was young my grandmother had me convinced that allagators would come on the road and pull cars off she said thats why all the black tire marks where there
 

Klautermauffen

F-f-f-f-f-f-f-founderrr
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Mar 11, 2008
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Seattle
Even as a teenager, my older bro was completely confused. He informed me I was retarded and women only have two holes.

One for peeing, bleeding, and having babies. And one for pooping.

He was 16.
 

SlimSkeeter

Guest
When I was younger, I used to take a running start and then jump into bed so the monsters couldn't grab my feet. This caused a lot of yelling by my parents, but at least my feet were safe.

I also used to tie a towel around my neck and pretend I was superman, even making the "cape" flap in the wind by riding my bike around.....until it got caught in the spokes once. lol...that sucked.
 

Titty

Proud White Boy
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Mar 2, 2008
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Where the sun doesn't shine
When I was 5 I called a group of Hispanic kids niggers. Not only did I not know it was an insult, but I also wasn't aware all non-whites weren't the same race.

Needless to say, the sole Hispanic adult around wasn't too pleased. I can still recall the 5 minute lecture he gave me on why his people were proud to look the way they did. "This skin is beautiful ,*pinches his forearm* and yoo call dis neegar?!?"

Then he pushed us all on the merry-go-round. 30 years makes a big difference. If a kid did that today he'd be dead.
 

TopGrey

Family
Founder
Jul 30, 2008
269
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NC mountains
Pianos were pinanas

i pissed on the garage because the dog did, too

watched "Aliens" without nightmares but couldn't sleep because of "Gremlins"

Put a sign in my window telling the good aliens to "please take me up to your spaceship" (still tell my kids they're coming for me").