You Gotta Love The Irish

Scarlet

.
Founder
Mar 3, 2008
1,741
0
66
49
Murphy calls to see his mate Paddy who has a broken leg.

Paddy says, 'Me feet are freezing mate, could you nip upstairs and get me slippers?'

'No bother' he says and he runs upstairs and there are Paddy's two stunning 19 year old twin daughters sitting on their beds.

'Hello dere girls, your Da' sent me up here to shag ya both.'

'Feck off you liar!'

'I'll prove it' Murphy says.

So he shouts down the stairs, 'Both of them, Paddy?'

'Of course, what's the use of feckin one'
 

Lisa

n00b
Founder
Mar 12, 2008
162
0
16
40
Ireland.
A newlywed couple arrived back from honeymoon to move into their tiny new flat.
"Care to go to bed?" the husband asked.
"Shh!" said his blushing bride. "These walls are paper thin. The neighbours will know what you mean! Next time, ask me in code - like, 'Have you left the washing machine door open' - instead."
So, the following night, the husband asks: "I don't suppose you left the washing machine door open, darling?"
"No," she snapped back, "I definitely shut it." Then she rolled over and fell asleep.
The next morning, she woke up feeling a little frisky herself, so she nudged her husband and said: "I think I did leave the washing machine door open after all..."
"Don't worry," said the man. "It was only a small load so I did it by hand."
 

Lisa

n00b
Founder
Mar 12, 2008
162
0
16
40
Ireland.
A young couple on their wedding night were in their honeymoon suite.
As they were undressing for bed, the husband, a big burly man, tossed his trousers to his new bride and said: "Here, put these on."
She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body.
"I can't wear your trousers," she said.
"That's right,'' said the husband, "and don't you ever forget it. I'm the one who wears the trousers in this relationship."
With that she flipped him her knickers and said: "Try these on."
He tried them on and found he could only get them on as far as his kneecaps.
"Hell," he said. ''I can't get into your knickers!"
She replied: "That's right... and that's the way it is going to stay until your attitude changes."