You May Be Gay...


Mar 3, 2008
“If you have passed the age of forty and you have a washboard stomach, you qualify as gay. It means you have not sucked back enough full-caloried beers with the boys, challenged enough strangers to chicken wing eating contests at bars with no names, and participated in all-day grill-a-thons where vegetables had NO place and not one steak weighed less than 2 pounds.

Clearly you spent too much of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet. Real men digest empty carbohydrates from beer and food, not decide whether or not to spit out or swallow calories donated by their…. friends.â€

“If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you would rather have a phallus in your mouth — unless attending a rave where you have ingested copious amounts of ecstasy. Even then, though, you probably still like the beef in your buns.

A truly straight man only sucks on bar-BBQ ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, crawfish guts, pickled pigs feet, or boobs. Anything else entering your mouth with the intent of getting sucked means you have earned the right to wear spandex in public and have already embraced your inner homo child.â€

Now what I want to know is this: Who actually sits down and WRITES this shit? And WHY? What did a gay guy DO to the original author(s)?!?!? Was rough, unnatural prison sex involved?????

I hold no grudge against guys who like guys, but I do find some of the jokes about them entertaining. Deal with it or fuck off.


I don't even have washboard abs now. I have what I lovingly refer to as a "buddha-belly", but thats going away now, thankfully.

Silly Cunt

Mar 30, 2008
Western Australia
I assume that ex military men like yourself are exempt from
the generalisation re washboard stomachs.
I hope so, anyhow.
I'm ex-military, and my washboard stomach is looong gone, thanks to high calorie beer intake and Cheezles.

Basically what I'm trying to say is, Gary takes pole in the poo pipe.